THIS Is What You Deserve

You deserve to love the way freckles kiss your face.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of your mind and the strength in not only knowing what you deserve but doing everything you can to be as deserving as you think you are.

You deserve the best night’s sleep. To wake up with a smile that fills you with ambition and energy throughout your day. To have the perfect ratio of creamer to coffee or to buy yourself a cup just because you’ve earned it.

You deserve sunshine warming your veins or the calming pitter patter of raindrops against your window. To feel purpose in what you do and appreciated for what you have done. To feel satisfied in your work yet able to know when to go home and enjoy the other side of your life.

You deserve to be loved by family. To not just know that they care about you but to feel it in their actions and words. To feel supported in your dreams and in your choices. To become more confident in the person you are becoming because of the confidence they instill in you. To feel more of a connection than just blood.

You deserve the best kind of friends. The ones who choose to be your family and will always let you soak their shirt with tears. The kind who will not judge you but push you forward and towards your own goals. Friends who will let you be weak when you can’t be strong and make you laugh when you are in darkness.


You deserve to love who you are.
  To call yourself beautiful.To have pride in where you’ve been and excitement for where you are going. To love the way your hips fit into jeans or how your hair falls around your shoulders. To know that you are worthy of love and to always appreciate the small moments.

You deserve to fall in love. You deserve butterflies. You deserve to wake up to soft kisses and arms tight against you. To laugh louder than ever before and to fall for your best friend. To fit so well with someone that you want to make fun of each others wrinkles and white hair one day.

You deserve happiness. But it can’t all fall into your lap as a gift from the sky. It has to start with YOU. Your attitude, your willingness to grow and push yourself, your determination and your patience all have a say in what you will get, regardless of what you deserve.

Treat the world in this way and you will find happiness in what comes back to you.

Until next time,

Anna Marie

Goodbye USA, Hello Germany

I am so excited to announce that I will be spending the next month of my life with family in Germany!

Not only is this an amazing opportunity to get to know my family overseas but it is a chance to learn about my roots. I get to see where my family comes from and learn details about my heritage. I am so blessed to have this chance and cannot express my excitement for these next four weeks.

I will be on a plane all day as I cross the ocean and as I’m cramped in the luxurious economy class seat, I will be thinking about how this next month will play out. I have another chance to unwind and repair all of the stress this summer has accidentally set on my shoulders.

This is a chance to immerse into a new culture filled with insanely yummy chocolate and potent beer. The memories made here will definitely be shared during my travel Tuesday posts and I cannot wait to see how Germany changes me.

Get ready for posts of family, castles and German everything.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

This Is How I’m Going To Love You

I’m not going to notice you and look over my shoulder seventeen times just so you know I’m interested. I’m not going to accidentally bump into your shoulder to have an excuse to ask you to have a conversation. I won’t play the eye contact game or giggle politely. I don’t like games because to me, love will never be a game.

I am going to get lost in my work and thoughts because the truth is, I’m not looking for you and I don’t want you to be looking for me. I want to meet and start talking not to get another date, but to get to know you immediately. Right then and there. I don’t want to pretend that I may or may not be interested in you because the truth is I am genuinely interested in every person I have ever met until I have reason not to be.

I will text you when I want to, not when Cosmo tells me I should. I will ask you to hang out whenever I want to see you, not after however many days society says I should to keep your attention. I will not work for your attention. I want you to give it to me willingly because what you see in me. 

I’ll probably text you too much and share too many personal stories much too fast because I don’t waste my time sharing myself with someone. I give too much, feel to deeply and crave to cultivate relationships. I will never feel overwhelming or like I have to think of every word coming out of my mouth. I’ll ask you questions that you’ve answered a million times and questions that you never knew you’d be asked. With you, I’ll feel safe.

I’ll laugh way too hard at something you weren’t even trying to make funny and cry too hard during sad movies. I’m going to go way too fast and far too slow with you. I’m not going to wait until the third date to kiss you and I’m going to hope you hold my hand because it feels right, not because it’s appropriate timing.

I’ll be terrified of falling in love and excited to call you mine. I’ll surprise you with endless small things and expect nothing less than love and support. I’ll say those three words only when I know they are absolutely true and will show you every day how much I mean them. 

I’ll be worried and overthink because I can’t help but stress myself out. I will say the wrong thing or make a mistake at some point because I’m human. I will apologize and forgive because two people can always work through problems if they try hard enough. 

I will fight hard and love you even harder. I will take time to myself and need to be alone. I will kiss your shoulder goodnight and never feel like I can’t be my complete self around you. I will never speak to hurt you and always remind myself of how lucky I am to be yours.

I will always respect you and never disrespect myself in the process. You and I will be best friends in love and the fire we have my change in flame but will never die out. I will never feel like I am too much or not enough. Neither will you.

I will love you fiercely and proudly because I don’t know how to love any other way. That is how I am going to love you and if you don’t want this, you don’t want me.

But to someone, it is going to be everything and more. I’m not waiting for you, but I can’t wait until the day we meet.

Yours,

Anna Marie

PS: inspired by this lovely post HERE

Here’s Why We Get Too Attached To People

Otherwise known as the overemotional, the clingers, the givers, the ones who just care too much… and so on. These “titles” all have so many different meanings and I want to clear up what it is like to be someone who gets extremely connected with other human beings.

We crave relationships with others. We love to cultivate and grow relationships with people and there is no better feeling than recognizing when someone has crossed over into that small group of people you would do anything for.

We love with an intensity that little can handle in relationships. We give so much that sometimes we disappear into that person, unable to recognize who we are without them. We literally give a piece of us to them and trust them to take care of you like you are undoubtedly going to do for them. We love so fiercely that we forget to love ourselves and more often than not, we end up hurting because of that.

We feel each emotion deeper and stronger than the average person not because we are overemotional, but because we feel we have connected with someone so strongly that our happiness explodes brighter and our sorrow sinks deeper through the ups and downs of life. All of our emotions stem from interactions with other people, either lack of or an overabundance of it, we feel because of how others interact around us.

We love deep friendships.To get to know someone and find out every single thing about them is to feel like you have truly understood another complex being. When we recognize those who give to us, we give back. Sometimes, we give back so much that others stop giving all together until the work load sits on our shoulders and slowly weighs us down.

We want to belong.

We want to belong.

But see, people who are too attached to others can’t feel that weight when they are focused on someone they love. They don’t care the pounds they carry as long as they are doing everything possible to cultivate and help a relationship with another friend. We love genuineness and feeling like we have purpose or belong somewhere.

This is why we are told we care too much. We’re too nice. Someone can stab you in the back, crush your heart, exploit your secrets and a piece of you will always want to help them and be there for them. No matter how badly your broken and bleeding. It’s hard for us to step back and recognize when we need to protect ourselves.

It’s taken advantage of far too much. 

We can stand up for ourselves unless its to the people we love. We can be the toughest, strongest person you know but if we love you- it’s hard for us to not become putty in warm hands.

So please, for me, understand how you should be treating a person who feels so deeply and gives so much to others. 

Be patient in understanding that sometimes those emotions we have can grip our hearts without reason. Choose to be present and just listen to what they have to say. Sometimes we just need to explode even if it’s nonsense we won’t care about in ten minutes.

Be gentle. We can be overwhelming at times by how much we feel and how deeply we connect with others but that doesn’t mean you have to match it. It just means you have to try and understand that.We love and interact with friends in different ways. Believe me, we’re an understanding bunch.

Give back. This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be going overboard. Just remember that love given to someone should not be taken for granted. Every day you should think of how you appreciate another person and why you want them in your life. If you can’t come up with any reasons… what are you doing?

We find the other good eggs out there eventually.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

To Be In Love With Travel

To be in love with travel is to find bits and pieces of yourself with every new journey.

It is to recognize the value in what the world can teach you and ask questions of what we don’t know.

It is to crave adventure and knowledge that surpasses any type of vacation. It is to learn and feel inspired by a place different than our comfy homes.

924111_943279992350941_1436575087_nTo love to travel is to constantly feel the hunger for new people, places and things. It is to love your home but grow tired of small trees and familiar buildings. It is the need to squish your toes in the sand of a beach you haven’t explored and smell the leaves of a forest you could happily get lost in.

It isn’t resentment from where we come from but curiosity for the thousands of places that lie beyond our town lines, state lines or national borders. It is a huge question mark that we need to answer and so plane tickets are purchased and never regretted.

Travel is about scraping together enough pennies to make a dream trip a reality. Never will a traveler look over their shoulder into the past and wish they hadn’t wandered somewhere new. We crave new sights and memories that cannot be priced by humanity.

To be in love with travel is to experience the thrill of a new culture and to explore every corner of a new city until exhaust forces our heads to our pillows. It is to be in love with the world as a whole and to want to get to know as much land as humanly possible.

Travel makes us come home and hug our loved ones because we see so many wonderful and terrifying places across oceans. It makes us sleep better in our own beds and appreciate the towns and cities that raised us because they will forever be our home.

It is not a way for us to escape our own lives but a way to expand it. To reach out beyond our comfort zones and embrace more people and places than we thought we could hold on to.

Travel is a way for us to grow immensely in a way that can never be measured.

We feel all of these things and more, when we are in love with traveling.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

The Leading Cause of Death In the World is Time

Time is fickle.

Time is precious.

Time heals all wounds.

Time waits for no one.

The problem is you think you have time.

What other expressions can you think of that have to do with the shadiness of time?

I like that last one quite a bit. The problem is you think you have time. Guilty. Many have used and abused time as excuses and reasons for not doing what makes us happy. It’s hard not to think, I have the “rest of my life” to do things. Travel, fall in love, work towards a successful career… it will all happen when it is supposed to.

There is no such thing as the right “time” for something to happen. A million dollars won’t fall into your lap unless you buy a lottery ticket or work your tail off. You won’t fall in love unless you start meeting people. You aren’t going to succeed unless you try.

We stop pushing ourselves because we are convinced that we have enough time down the road to fix our ways and become someone we would enjoy spending time with. It’s easy to forget that every day we are a person who won’t be much different from the one waking up tomorrow, so if you never push yourself to become the 2.0 machine you dream of, you are not going to get anywhere.

Time won’t wait for you to pull yourself together. 

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is the person we want to be.

The leading cause of death is time. With enough time, everyone dies. Time isn’t distributed evenly to all of  us. There are rations and extensions, miracles and tragedies. It’s fair and unfair. However, if you knew that you only had one week left to live, think of the incredible adventures and memories you would make. Think of the people you would talk to and who you would go and visit. That’s how we should live every day (with the occasional lazy Sunday).

Stop letting time pass without feeling like you’re progressing forward. 

Grab the bull by the horns and keep up with the pace time has set for you.

No one makes it out a live so we might as well enjoy what we’re given.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

You Don’t Have A Soulmate

My dreams resembled those we had when we were sixteen. To find true love and end up happily ever after. To be whisked away into the sunset in a romantic moment of bliss and passion.

Five years later, I don’t even believe in “the one” anymore. 

I think that this universe would be insanely cruel and vicious if they only placed one human being on this entire planet that is meant to be your “soulmate”. What if they die young? What if they make the mistake of marrying someone else? What if you never meet? Out of 7 billion people on this planet, I refuse to think that I only have one person out there who could make me truly happy.

Relationships are work. They take effort, appreciation, continuous motivation, sacrifice and an extreme amount of love. It takes zero effort to fall in love with someone which in my eyes can be substituted with pure infatuation. It takes time, commitment and patience to love someone after the the excitement fades.

You could meet the person that has absolutely everything on your checklist including the sparks between you (your perfect dream guy) but if they don’t want to work for your relationship then you’re not going to end up happy.

You can fall in love with several different people. That’s the easy part. The hard part is continuously falling in love with someone over and over again.

Love is somewhat terrifying. You are expected to grow with another person where all of a sudden you’re best friends, fiances, wives/husbands. People get scared. They take ten steps back because it’s easier to stop fighting for love than it is to completely surrender your entire self to another person.

You could meet “the one” but it could be horrible timing. Then what? You cry and wait 10 years before realizing they’re not the only one you may have out in the world for you?

CONCLUSION:

Maybe when people say soulmate, they mean they need to find the person that will fight for them just as much as they fight for you. Someone who will love just as the others began to but then their love will surpass any passion and warmth you’ve ever felt before because they will give themselves to you.

An exchange of hearts.

So, no, I don’t quite believe in soulmates but I do believe in waiting for one of the right “ones” to come along. Maybe wait isn’t the right word. I’m not sitting around on a park bench waiting for a grand gesture from some prince who locks eyes with mine and knows I’m his future wife.

Waiting means that I will not throw myself into the arms of someone until I know for certain they could be one of my many soulmates I have roaming around the world.

One of the many men I could spend a future with. 

That’s it. We don’t have one soulmate. We have several. Only a few special souls that would fight to the ends of the earth and give themselves to you in the way you need it most.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

A Thailand Montage

I always struggle with the internal dilemma of whether I should take pictures/videos on a vacation or not. However, I can’t say I’m disappointed with my decision to capture some of this beautiful country on my camera. I lived in the moment every day and took just enough video to remind myself why I fell in love with the Thai culture.

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It made me realize there is such a fine balance between taking things in on vacation and going overboard with pictures that will never capture such a beautiful place.

Watch my adventures and you’ll be searching for the next flight to Bangkok. .

Watch It Here!

P.S. If you want to read more in depth about my Thailand adventure, you can click on a previously written blog post here!

Happy Tuesday and until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Courage is Infinite

When I was 18, I did what a lot of teenagers can legally do at that age. I got a tattoo.

It wasn’t on my birthday in some whimsical shop where I chose a burger as my choice of permanent ink; I took my time in thinking this out. In fact, I decided on what I wanted and then waited six months after my birthday to make sure I still liked the idea before permanently engraving it into my skin.

tattoo

My smile is filled with fear.

So let’s start with why I chose what I did. I was in a really rough state of mind at the time I started thinking of ideas. Senior year of high school after my family took a huge hit with personal dilemmas did not treat the brain kindly and I was feeling very weak and frail. I would tell myself to overcome these issues and rise above to what is yet to happen. Overcome.

For a while, I thought this is what I would get on my body. After about a month, I didn’t like how it sounded anymore. Overcome had this connotation for me that I was always going through something and would be a constant reminder of tough times. It had a melancholy ring to it that didn’t sit right with me.

I started to love the word courage. I compared it with the word strength but what I wanted was more than strength to me. Courage embodied the fight to get through something and face it head on no matter what fear ices your heart. Strength left me feeling like I could just wait the storm out where as the word courage made me feel like I would run head first into the eye of the storm and find a way to handle the disaster I knew was coming afterwards.

However, so many souls have courage tattooed on their bodies and I couldn’t just be like everyone else. I needed a small phrase that would lead me to take strides when my legs feel broken and tired. A phrase to help me last one more minute in agony because I know happiness is waiting on the other side.

Courage Is Infinite. It popped into my head and stuck. Courage doesn’t run out. Courage can be summoned at any time and you will always have it within you. You will never run out of the courage to do what you want. You don’t get 100 instances to use it. You have an unlimited supply that can pull you through the roughest of times if you fight.

That’s what I loved most. I am a fighter and this is my mantra. Courage is infinite. It does not run out in the middle of a battle, we can always find it within ourselves or the world around us. The courage to leave the country in chase of travels, the courage to tell someone I love you after a dozen heartbreaks, the courage to forgive those who hurt you, the courage to push yourself one minute further on that run you didn’t want to take, the courage to go up to a stranger and say hello for the first time.

Courage will never expire. It is always hidden within us as long as we know how to access it.

It was perfect for who I am and the words I need to call upon when I feel stuck. foot

I can’t tell you how many times I have looked down at those words scrawled on my foot and have repeated them tirelessly until I believe it. It has been an incredible reminder to keep pushing forward even when you feel like you can’t muster up the strength to move your big toe. Courage will last a lifetime if you let yourself become friends with it.

That’s why I got a tattoo. I made an amazing decision to get that phrase on my skin so when I feel like I need it most and don’t know where to go next, I am constantly reminded by my own skin that I have the courage I need to get through anything.

When it means that much to you, it has to be right.

Plus, I can’t wait to see what it will look like in 60 years. 🙂

Until Tomorrow,

Anna Marie

If You’re Going Through A Lot, This Letter Is For You

Dear Troubled Mind,

I know what you’re going through isn’t easy. I know that every day is a constant battle to choose to do things that will make you happy or to curl up and cry. Every morning you wake up and wait to see if you can feel a good or bad day coming and you’re nervous to succumb to the anxious dreams you’ve been living in every night.

You’re terrified of being left alone because you don’t think you are strong enough to stand without hands holding you up. Yet, you’re sick of everyone tip toeing around subjects and jokes that only make you think of everything you’re trying to ignore.

I know that you can’t stop the pain from hitting you just as hard as it did the first time and that you’re sick of waiting for enough time to pass to make things alright.

I felt this way. Some days, I still feel this way. So from me… to you… I’m going to tell you what you need to hear.

You are strong. Not because you have moved along or have forgotten, but because you have felt every single ounce of pain that has been with you and you are learning to live with it.

Time doesn’t fix all wounds, it allows us to learn how to deal with the missing piece we thought we needed to survive. It allows us to understand how to handle the pain of whatever change we feel destroyed us. Every day, the pain doesn’t go away, we just learn how to embrace it and how to push forward even with new scars.

That is why you are strong. You have cracks and burns in your heart but it still beats. You still smile and laugh because no one can take that from you.

Whatever event changed you… whether it was a betrayal, a break up, a death or anything else, know that the person who caused this much pain didn’t get off too easy themselves. Don’t hate them. Don’t resent them for what happened. They have made you into the person you are supposed to be and maybe their time in aiding your future is up.

Forgive. Forgive whatever has happened and forgive yourself. You don’t need to let go of a person because in all honesty, a part of us will truly never let go of something we love, but accept that you cannot change the past. Let go of the control you no longer have and embrace what is yet to come.

Let go of the blame you place on yourself or another person and let go of the idea that a grand gesture will come along. Let go of the memories but still appreciate them. Let go of what you had and look forward to what could be. A door closes only to have a few windows creak open.

Understand the beauty and happiness that you deserve. You are so much more than a face or a body. You have a soul that can shine light through the darkest of nights. You have love that can leave someone speechless and kindness that spreads like wildfire.

Right now, stop thinking of ways to put others before yourself. Stop thinking of ways to apologize, react, conversations, plots that might change the outcome of what has happened.

Start thinking of yourself.  Choose YOU. If you’re terrified to be alone, that is a huge cry that you are exactly who you need right now. You need to find comfort in yourself. You have to love yourself to heal the cuts that are deep in your heart. No one can say something that is going to magically reset your happiness. You have to fight to get that back, no matter how unfair it seems.

Every single day when you wake up, you need to push forward. Don’t let yourself wallow on the couch or lay in bed all day. Do something about your pain.

Smother the pain with self-love. Love yourself by doing what makes you happy and for enjoying your own company.

No one can heal you like you can. Look at yourself in the mirror and have a conversation explaining why you deserve joy and appreciation. Then give it to yourself. Appreciate who you are and why you are an amazing soul.

Keep fighting. Maybe you fought hard for someone else and they gave up and now you don’t know why you put so much effort into something that failed. Well, keep fighting. Not for them anymore, but for yourself. Don’t give up now. You fought to be happy with someone/something else and now you must fight to be happy all by yourself.

Love deeper than anything you’ve ever felt before. Love is pain’s antibiotic. Love with each cell in your body and give it your all. Your friends, your family, your significant other or even your dog. Pour love into others and you’ll find that the ones who truly care will give you just as much love back.

Push forward, choose to love yourself and you WILL find happiness.

Until next time,

Anna Marie