This Is How I’m Going To Love You

I’m not going to notice you and look over my shoulder seventeen times just so you know I’m interested. I’m not going to accidentally bump into your shoulder to have an excuse to ask you to have a conversation. I won’t play the eye contact game or giggle politely. I don’t like games because to me, love will never be a game.

I am going to get lost in my work and thoughts because the truth is, I’m not looking for you and I don’t want you to be looking for me. I want to meet and start talking not to get another date, but to get to know you immediately. Right then and there. I don’t want to pretend that I may or may not be interested in you because the truth is I am genuinely interested in every person I have ever met until I have reason not to be.

I will text you when I want to, not when Cosmo tells me I should. I will ask you to hang out whenever I want to see you, not after however many days society says I should to keep your attention. I will not work for your attention. I want you to give it to me willingly because what you see in me. 

I’ll probably text you too much and share too many personal stories much too fast because I don’t waste my time sharing myself with someone. I give too much, feel to deeply and crave to cultivate relationships. I will never feel overwhelming or like I have to think of every word coming out of my mouth. I’ll ask you questions that you’ve answered a million times and questions that you never knew you’d be asked. With you, I’ll feel safe.

I’ll laugh way too hard at something you weren’t even trying to make funny and cry too hard during sad movies. I’m going to go way too fast and far too slow with you. I’m not going to wait until the third date to kiss you and I’m going to hope you hold my hand because it feels right, not because it’s appropriate timing.

I’ll be terrified of falling in love and excited to call you mine. I’ll surprise you with endless small things and expect nothing less than love and support. I’ll say those three words only when I know they are absolutely true and will show you every day how much I mean them. 

I’ll be worried and overthink because I can’t help but stress myself out. I will say the wrong thing or make a mistake at some point because I’m human. I will apologize and forgive because two people can always work through problems if they try hard enough. 

I will fight hard and love you even harder. I will take time to myself and need to be alone. I will kiss your shoulder goodnight and never feel like I can’t be my complete self around you. I will never speak to hurt you and always remind myself of how lucky I am to be yours.

I will always respect you and never disrespect myself in the process. You and I will be best friends in love and the fire we have my change in flame but will never die out. I will never feel like I am too much or not enough. Neither will you.

I will love you fiercely and proudly because I don’t know how to love any other way. That is how I am going to love you and if you don’t want this, you don’t want me.

But to someone, it is going to be everything and more. I’m not waiting for you, but I can’t wait until the day we meet.

Yours,

Anna Marie

PS: inspired by this lovely post HERE

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