“I’ll lay my hands on the glass to see through the mess I’ve become. I’ll gaze beyond the cage I feel safe in to try and see the world outside again. But daydreaming isn’t always as comparable to dreams. But I’ll stare out of this glass pane anyways.
While wishing out a window I remembered what was mine. I remembered a time I felt whole. Wishing out a window was as easy as it seems, our hearts were filled with dreams, one memory at a time. Now I’ll keep wishing for the day when all the pain I feel goes away or I find the strength to believe in all I need. I’ll keep praying for a sign on stars that refuse to shine to help me understand that the only hero to my tragedy is me. The hero to my tragedy is me.”
Sometimes, it’s hard not to rest your fate in the hands of a miracle. It’s hard not to sit around and wait for yourself to get better. It’s hard not to wait for someone to put you back together so you don’t have to. It’s hard to trust yourself to become saved by the one and only you.
It would be so much easier to just let ourselves be defeated and stay down but what happens when a year goes by and no one has saved you? No miracles have happened and time hasn’t changed anything at all? You have to choose to pick yourself up. You’re the hero in this story my friend.
Here’s a few things you can start doing to get yourself where you want to be.
1. Push yourself to do something even if you don’t feel like it.
You don’t have to go somewhere every day but binge watching Netflix for three days straight is not a good way to work on your happiness. At least break it up with a walk or go meet a friend for coffee. Most of the time, you’ll feel better afterwards. Make your day have purpose. Make yourself feel like you need to be somewhere or doing something to be happy.
2. Reach out to friends or make some new ones.
A way to get yourself through anything is to surround yourself with people who will catch you if you stumble. Take this time to grow friendships and reconnect with old ones. Go see your family and recognize those who truly care for you. Laugh and love.
3. Make yourself think of two positive thoughts for every negative thought you have.
Write it down if you have to! Every time you start thinking about regrets, guilt, events leading to those feelings, stop yourself (if the time is right). You need time to heal of course but at some point you have to tell your mind to move on and think about it less and less. We must learn to push forward with pain. It’ll get easier.
4. Every morning, wake up and ask yourself what you want to do to make yourself happy.
This sounds so silly but we often forget to think about the small things that will give us joy. Is it making yourself a big breakfast? Is it going for a walk? Sometimes these things don’t sound too fun but we know that after we do them we’ll feel a little more productive and joyous for the rest of your day. Do it even if you don’t feel like it. Make yourself happy.
5. Love yourself. Do something for yourself.
I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but I can’t stress enough how important this time is for you to do something that’s going to make you feel new and happy. Redecorate your apartment, buy yourself a new toy, get in the best shape of your life, join a new club, take archery lessons… whatever it is, just go for it. Do something, or several things, for yourself and consider it the beginning of a relationship with YOU. Date yourself and start by spoiling the crap out of you.
We can’t chase happiness, but we can learn habits that will help us stumble into it much easier.