You Must Decide To Rise

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Breathe.

Breathe in light.

Breathe out darkness.

Raise your palms to the sun so your fingertips can be touched by hope.

Close your eyes so you can imagine how blessed you are to be so loved.

Wild and free.

Wind blowing throw fields of sunflowers so yellow it’s petals drip happiness.

Free as the birds who fly anywhere and everywhere with the option of home always in their hearts.

Wild as the drinks that make you dance on table tops and kiss strangers.

Breathe in.

If only to feel alive because spontaneity is played by those who crave adventure.

It’s for those who crave each other. 

Lust and love.

Fall in love with a one night stand for just one night but promise to respect your body.

Crave love in everyone you meet and long for a soul that will understand your own.

Have the patience of your mother and keep her strength too.

Be brave like trees swaying in hurricanes.

Pray for the opportunity to spread positivity.

Love fiercely, move fearlessly and chase what everyone is too scared to run after. 

Rejection isn’t for the weak- it’s for the willing who know they are capable of rising.

And you must decide to rise. 

Until Tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Unsteady Dating Habits of This Generation

I’m lost in a generation that doesn’t fit my dreams. I’m settling for a scene that produces heart break and casual love.

I’m not a casual love kind of girl.

I’m not a casual fling, a one night stand or a buddy you can call when it’s convenient.

I’m not a waste of fear like half of the people around me seem to be.

They’re afraid.

Afraid of commitment, afraid of fighting, even afraid of talking to someone they find remotely interesting.

Why is that so terrifying to us now?

Why is there a timeline of love?

My grandparents dated for 6 months before getting engaged and were married shortly after.

Why does this fear of interaction keep us from committing to one person?

It may be this generation’s way of dating, but it’s not mine.

I’ll stay hopeful for the ones out there who feel the way I do about love.

It should be fought for, worked for and approached with confidence.

You should be able to go up to someone and talk with them because you want to get to know them, not because you’ll be seen as overbearing or needy.

What is the point of playing hard to get? What is the point of a chase?

Life isn’t a game and I refuse to treat it like one.

I’m a playful person but this is serious to me and I’ll treat it as so.

I’m looking for something… MORE.

More than timed texts and waiting three days to call.

I’m looking for electricity.

I’ve seen sparks in people and I know what it is that makes me glow.

It’s going to be tough to wait for someone who wants the same kind of love I do, but it will be worth it.

And it will inspire.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

 

 

Sand Dollars and Solace

California came two weeks after a miserable break up.

I was devastated, heartbroken and exhausted.

Nothing was fitting clearly in my mind between the constant flow of excuses and reasons creeping in the corners of my brain and I was ready to jump in the ocean and let the waves carry me wherever they thought I should go.

IMG_6203IMG_6200I would drive to the ocean and walk the coast for miles, humming songs that filled my heart and dancing if only to leave beautifully intricate patterns in the sand.

Wind whipped my hair constantly and the waves would crash around my ankles as I hopped frantically out of the freezing water.

As I walked the beach, I would find pieces of broken shells everywhere. Soon, I found cracked sand dollars every few steps. The farther I would go, the more whole the sand dollars would become.

But I couldn’t find one that was whole.

Ironic,  I thought to myself, the broken girl stumbles across all of the chipped and cracked sand dollars, never finding a whole one because she’ll never feel that way again.

On one of my last trips to the beach, I remember sitting in the sand, digging my toes as far as I could into the earth and covering my legs until a mini sand castle kept me warm.

I ran my hands through patterns upon patterns, the sand felt so good running through my fingers.

I came across this sand dollar that was 90% whole and I held it in my hands. I spoke aloud to the universe and I said “If I can find one whole sand dollar, please let that be a sign that everything is going to be okay.”

I can’t tell you how stupid I felt saying this to the ocean. However, I had complete confidence in those words and so I said them aloud a few more times, begging for the universe to show me that eventually I would be okay.

I walked for miles down the shore and found one more sand dollar that was not quite whole and I smiled. Maybe this was it. A sign that even though this sand dollar was chipped, it was beautiful. I told myself that this is what I would find.

Still, I kept walking along the ocean.

Not even a minute later, I spotted another white circle buried in waves.

I remember this moment clear as day.

I gasped and ran to it, gently lifting it from the wet sand and washing it in the next crest that came to shore.

It was whole.

IMG_6230The happiness that swelled inside me brought tears to my eyes and I remember laughing by myself in the middle of the beach with the ocean right by my side.

That’s it, I thought,  I will be whole again. 

And it’s so strange that I needed the universe to tell me that I would be okay, but it did. Every trip to the beach after that never led me to another whole sand dollar.

It was my sign.

And maybe I made the entire coincidence up in my head in order to find the fight within me that I needed to heal.

But it worked.

I still have that sand dollar in my room, telling me that feeling whole is a process. I kept the broken one too if only to remind me that imperfection is still beautiful.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Impressing Women: Matured Adult Version

Do you want to know how to impress me?

Show me your mind. 

Tell me stories of your favorite places and why you love the music you do.

Share with me fears that drive you or keep you at bay.

Tell me what you think about religion and politics.

I want to see your eyes when you talk about what you believe in.

Tell me your biggest dreams.

Do you want to skydive over the ocean?

What brings the biggest smile to your face?

Share with me a piece of you that is beyond favorite colors. 

Tell me why the color blue resonates with you.

Is it the ocean? Is it your favorite football team?

You’re more than just your age.

Tell me how many struggles you’ve faced to make it that many years. 

Explain how your zodiac sign predicts your future and why your parents named you what they did.

Laugh with me about the memories you’ve created.

Cry with me about the hardest roadblocks you’ve had to overcome.

Have a conversation with me that is more than just asking about my major. Ask me WHY I chose it.

Do you believe in ghosts or heaven?

Tell me WHY you wish you could have the super power of invisibility.

Give me reasons to get excited. 

Share your passion with me.

Impress me with your depth of mind.

Make me THINK.

Don’t be afraid to dive into topics that show me how your mind works.

This is so much more impressive than a six pack or sculpted arms.

A great conversation is worth so much more than money or good looks.

It is a window into what makes you who you are and THAT is what I’m interested in.

I care more about the person you are then about the clothes you wear or the neighborhood you’re from.

Most importantly, I want to know WHY you became that person.

I want you to wonder the same thing about me.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie