Oh, Fear.

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It’s so obvious isn’t it.

Why you didn’t go and talk to that cutie over there.

Why you didn’t apply to a job that would make you happy.

Why  you’re living in your small town and dreaming of the city.

Fear.

It’s why relationships end before you can be too involved.

It’s why we never actually share our opinion.

It’s why we only show ourselves to those we think will accept it.

Fear.

It kills us.

Not the self you project to your friends and family.

It kills the actual originality of our spirits.

We have so much fear inside of us that we constantly water down who we are so that we are specified versions with different people.

Who would you be if you stood in a room with every single person you know?

Fear.

It’s the reason we don’t get close with anyone anymore.

We don’t want to get hurt, we don’t want to be uncool, we don’t want to feel guilty for being who we are.

We shame ourselves.

Why are we holding back?

Fear is sharing these words with the world and knowing that even if no one agrees with them, I still believe in each letter.

Fear is dressing up in a style that feels completely you and walking into a bar filled with people wearing camouflage sweatshirts and flannels.

Fear is diving into a person and letting yourself begin to fall because you know that if you didn’t, you’d be numb.

And being numb is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Push your fear. Push yourself and let yourself be seen.

Someone has to start.

So let me:

I’m afraid.

I create art through so many different mediums and I am scared that it won’t be accepted.

I’ve had my heart shattered beyond measure and don’t want to open up to anyone because of it.

I am terrified of trusting people because I’ve been betrayed.

I’m scared that my idea of living isn’t going to happen the way I imagine it.

I’m worried that I’ll be too much for people to handle.

I am nervous when I feel out of control of my feelings.

I’m wary of people who want to get to know me because I question intentions quite often.

This all sounds so negative, but I KNOW it is so common. 

Do you know where the positivity factors in?

I face these fears daily. 

I push myself to constantly build connections and work on trusting people because I know that human connection is why I’m here.

It’s not to work a 9-5 or to buy a beautiful home, it’s to love and be loved by all different kinds of souls in this world.

And how many of them would open up?

How many people in this world actually tell you what they’re afraid of?

How many people actually lay themselves bare and show you what vulnerability looks like?

It’s because we’re all afraid.

But I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

Do you?

Until next time,

Anna Marie

 

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