So you’re “A Lot” are you?

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I’m a lot.

Everyone is, in the sense of the word, however, they don’t quite display themselves as we who are “a lot” do.

There is no hiding who we are.

We will meet you, tell you our name and splash every story we have on the ground in front of you so we can piece through them together and find our connections.

We will catch your hand from touching the shards of words that have sliced our hearts open and let you hold the warm light that comes from our proudest moments.

We will gently skip over some of the darkened pieces that you’re not ready for and guide you to the largest corners where our core being resides.

We’ll help you sift through the confusing pattern of pain and pleasure.

We’ll help you understand what makes up this light we have.

It’s easy to shine bright when you’ve held so much darkness.

You’ll understand how we built the raft that saves our lives.

Why we’re so confident in our ability to dream.

Why our biggest fear is relying on someone else.

Why our independence has terrified the people around us.

We’re a lot.

We’re a lot of courage, a lot of bravery, a lot of vulnerability.

We’re a lot of love, all at once.

We will push you.

We will dive right into your story the first time we meet you.

Not the gory details, not the life-changing moments, just the food you can’t live without and if you take your coffee black.

We will constantly push and support you.

Because we are constantly growing.

Our competitiveness will never be seen when it comes to our idea of love.

You see,  we don’t believe in games unless you have piece characters, dice and pink money.

And for the love of God, we do not chase a human being.

Why do you need to tell someone the reasons they should stay when they should see it on their own?

Adults make their own decisions and we will not make one for you.

When you’re “a lot”, people expect just that from you.

So you stretch and wither until you’re transparently floating, unnoticed by those who need you.

But honestly, WE need OURSELVES.

So when we’re told we are simply “a lot” to handle, know this.

We display ourselves differently.

The reason you see “a lot” is because we’re fearless.

We don’t hide ourselves from the world for fear of being hurt because we already have scars to prove we heal quickly.

We love ourselves and fight to do so everyday and we’re not going to hide that struggle just to make you feel comfortable.

Just to make you feel like you aren’t overwhelmed.

We are a lot because we’ve been through as much, we fight for as much, we inspire to be as much.

So, thank you.

Thank you for telling us that we’re “a lot”.

Thank you for telling us that we’re fearlessly vulnerable and open.

That we’re not afraid to be ourselves with someone immediately.

For telling us that we know what we want and am not scared to say so.

Because, believe me, we already knew all of these things. 

We’re incredibly smart human beings.

 

Love,

Anna Marie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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