I Vow, 2017.

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I vow to worry less about others love for me and work harder to give that love to myself.

I vow to breathe through anxiety and put myself first.

I vow to say no without an explanation and feel comfortable doing so.

I vow to love fiercely in every way possible.

I vow to be vulnerable and real.

I vow to not let the fear of judgement control who I am.

I vow not to measure my success by the amount of likes on a picture or the amount of compliments in person.

I vow to keep some goals to myself and smash the hell out of them.

I vow to let go of could-bes and things that don’t work out.

I vow to truly take in the moments that make me carefree.

I vow to say what’s on my mind even if it isn’t what someone agrees with.

I vow to minimize the “stuff” I purchase and save it for the experiences I can live.

I vow to be open and genuine.

I vow to never numb myself to joy for fear of feeling pain later on.

I vow to say sorry less, to stop apologizing for who I am.

I vow to keep feeling every single emotion fullly and showing the world how it should be done.

I vow to call myself beautiful and believe it.

I vow to work through rejection in an effort to better myself.

I vow to have more courage to tell someone how I feel only for the sake of them knowing.

I vow to always find hope in any incredible amount of darkness I face.

I vow to accept that which I cannot change and move forward in the direction I’ve been pushed and pulled.

I vow, for one year, to give every ounce of love to myself so that others know how it should be done.

I vow, for one year, to be exactly who I am in the most kind and genuine way possible. 

I vow, for one year, to put my happiness utterly and completely before anyone else’s. 

I will always keep pushing, keep striving and keep growing.

I will never give up.

Love,

Anna Marie

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Love Her

 

 

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Oh please, just love her.

Love her to the ends of the earth.

Love her vastly and openly, let her be who she’s supposed to be.

Push her to explore. 

Push her to try again.

Love her for who she is and not who she could be.

Love her whole. 

Love her in pieces.

Love the way she’s not perfect. 

Encourage her to love the imperfections too.

Love her to love yourself better.

Love her to heal your fears.

Love her excitement.

Love how she loves you.

Squeeze her tight and kiss her hard.

Love her so much. 

Oh please, just love her.

 

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

 

 

I Hope You Stay You.

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I hope, at the end of the day, you’re you.

I hope that the fire in your soul fuels your bravery and the criticism of society burns in the flames.

I hope you love so freely that it scares people away and attracts the deepest friendships of your life.

I hope you spike your hot cocoa to stay warm and breathe in the crisp winter air because the contrast is sacred.

I hope you fall in love so bad it hurts and he only stays if he let’s you be exactly who you are.

I hope you always stay exactly who you are.

Never a dimmed light-

never a watered down version-

always, 100% you.

I hope you eat french fries and skip the salad once in a while.

I hope you call yourself beautiful.

I hope you look in the mirror and accept yourself for your own beauty ideal.

I hope you talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.

I hope you practice kindness and stay genuine.

I hope you aren’t afraid to feel sadness and learn how to carry it with you.

I hope that you inspire yourself to be brave and believe in yourself to be fearless.

I hope you know that you can do anything.

Whatever you want, just do it.

I hope that you care for others in a way that makes them love you to the ends of the earth and fight like hell for what you believe in.

I hope your beliefs are never shoved down the throats of others.

I hope you listen to the silence for all that it says.

I hope you listen just to listen and not to respond.

I hope that you are missed by the ones you love and miss those you adore.

I hope you remember to smile.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself.

I hope that someone finds that light of yours and let’s it shine as bright as ever before.

I hope no one tries to take away your spirit.

I hope you never let them.

I hope you never apologize for what isn’t in your control.

I hope that you share yourself if only so you feel more confident in who you are.

I hope you never change.

I will always hope, at the end of the day, that you are you.

Stay you.

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

I Found Love

A year ago, I prayed for love.

I was broken and betrayed and I wished with all of my heart for love to come find me.

I screamed to the heavens with sorrowful begging.

PROVE to me that I am worthy, I thought.

I cursed karma and told myself how hard it would be to ever trust a man again.

I hated the idea of letting someone else break me.

360 days have gone by and I realize that I got exactly what I asked for.

I found love.

No, a man did not come and sweep me off my feet and fix my broken heart.

But I sure did.

Prince Charming did not ride up on a silver horse and hand me my self-worth.

I built it day by day.

I found love through myself.

Love for the weird quirks that make me who I am.

Like laughing at my own jokes or talking to myself in the emptiness of my apartment.

The inability to make good comebacks and tenderness to cry at the tears of someone else.

I started a journey to truly love the person I am and see my own worth as valuable currency.

I stopped spending my energy on those who didn’t appreciate it.

When I did that, I started meeting new faces.

I found love.

I found friends who cared so deeply for me they would listen to me talk about the same dilemma for hours and days just so I could walk myself through it.

They took me on crazy adventures and introduced me to more and more people until I built a network of love and support.

Losing one person led me to an incredible family of friends who have loved me and protected me in the exact way I need it.

In the way that never leaves.

They have shown me the selflessness it takes to make a relationship work, friendships or any type of relationship.

They have supported me with every dream and decision and pushed me forward when I need a little nudge.

The people I have met in the past year have become indispensable and incredibly valuable.

They have continuously encouraged my self growth and self love.

I prayed for love and at the time, I wanted a man I could call my best friend.

I got something so essential to what I need.

I got a team of best friends who have loved me more than anyone has before.

And I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Love,

Anna Marie

 

 

 

 

 

Why are we so scared?

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Don’t lose your sense of adventure.

Open up to strangers and invite love into your heart.

Sit on the bus and ask how the person to your left is doing.

It’s not creepy, it’s how we used to meet people.

Stand in line at a coffee shop and tell that girl who dressed up that she looks lovely.

She won’t give you a weird look, she’ll smile.

Pick up a book and read your favorite quote to someone you want to connect with.

Your favorite words will tell them so much more than your Facebook account.

Smile with your eyes and dress up so you can say damn, I look GOOD.

Stop racing for a goal and breathe in the moment you’re living.

Why are we so scared to live in a world where no matter what, you’re going to get hurt?

It’s true isn’t it?

No matter how guarded you are, how careful you are, how safe you live your life- you’re bound to get hurt at some point down the road.

Tripping on the side walk.

Criticized by your boss.

Rejected by your crush.

Hurt is going to happen.

So why do we fear it so much?

It’s a huge part of us.

A part of living, growing stronger and pushing forward.

I’ve seen people cringe from pain so much that they’ve become immune to being alive.

They hide themselves in a shell so tough that they can’t even begin to understand how someone could open it.

And it only grows thicker.

The part of them that could really live gets hidden as they go through the motions- waiting for anything to break through that shell.

Well it’s not up to a force of nature.

It’s up to you.

It’s up to you to face your fear and live in a world where you embrace rejection and let it push you.

By the thousandth time, you’ll be a professional.

By the thousandth no, you’ll hear “there’s a different plan”.

Don’t be scared to live. 

Embrace the fear and do it anyways because we’re all a little insane to hope that just enough courage will earn us the happiness we all deserve.

Until next time,

Anna Marie

 

 

Screw Technology

This is what pain feels like. 

Pain is feeling completely isolated when surrounded by a group of people who barely look up.

Pain is your courage to finally share a story to a room of people looking down at their cellphones, unable to so much as glance in your direction to hear about your vivid excitement or obvious distress.

Pain is not a single person in the room looking up to make eye contact with you, just solemn “mhms” and nods that are part of a performance- of how they should be reacting to make you feel “important”.

Pain is when someone finally looks you in the eye, you breathe a sigh of relief and gratitude because you are finally being heard, until you catch their thumbs moving automatically… not even needing sight to be imprisoned by a screen.

Pain is getting to the rising action and recognizing that not a single person is looking at you.

Pain is stopping mid-sentence in complete defeat, only to feel unworthy when no one realizes you’ve ended your attempt at conversation.

Pain is having this happen to you over and over again.

When was the last time you were truly WITH someone? When was the last time you turned your phone off so you could drink in every syllable of someone who trusts you to take an interest in their life?

Can you comprehend the utterly gut wrenching pain that shoots throughout someone when you look at your phone in the middle of a conversation?

Do you know how awful it feels to think you don’t matter because a text, a Facebook notification, a like is more important then the time someone is spending with you?

It’s ridiculous.

If you care about someone, prove it. Give them your undivided attention. Ask them questions, engage with them, ask them how their day is.

How often do we actually get asked how our days are that isn’t just a subtle formality? 

How often does someone actually care about how our days went?

No one deserves to feel like this.

Put your phone down and show someone you care.

Put your phone down and save the relationships you haven’t already damaged.

Put your phone down and respect someone’s time with you.

Just put your damn phone down. 

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

 

 

 

What are you doing?

I’m going to tell you something.

In this moment, no one cares about what you’re doing.

No one cares if you’re reading a book or watching Netflix.

No one is wondering if you’re deciding to put on make up or going to curl your hair.

No one wants to know if you went on a 6 mile run or walked ten steps to the bathroom.

These moments, every moment, is about you.

I’m giving you the freedom to understand that you are allowed to be selfish.

I’m also telling you that it is completely up to you what you do.

If you choose to watch Netflix while munching on the nearest snack food for 8 straight hours, is that going to get you to your “dream life” that you ponder every so often?

Is skipping class going to give you satisfaction?

We tell our friends, family and strangers our plans, our goals and our dreams.

I want to lose weight, I want to read 20 books this next year, I want to put my phone down more often.

In the end though, we find ourselves stuck in this place that is stagnant and comfortable.

We are laying in bed thinking how much EASIER it would be to just not do anything.

It sure would, wouldn’t it?

That’s the difference between creating a life full of pushing boundaries  or staying where you are. 

The need to be able to push yourself and motivate yourself every single day.

The hunger for success whether it be to eat more vegetables or smile at strangers.

The satisfaction upon completing a goal you’ve been working at for months.

No one cares what you are doing right now.

But these days that you stay stuck will turn into weeks and those weeks into months and those months into years until you realize that this is your life. 

We have all thought about where we want to be in a few years but it doesn’t just magically happen.

We have to strive and push ourselves every single day for it.

We create our lives by doing things that make us happy.

So what are you going to do today that will make you happy? Not comfortable, but happy.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

You Must Decide To Rise

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Breathe.

Breathe in light.

Breathe out darkness.

Raise your palms to the sun so your fingertips can be touched by hope.

Close your eyes so you can imagine how blessed you are to be so loved.

Wild and free.

Wind blowing throw fields of sunflowers so yellow it’s petals drip happiness.

Free as the birds who fly anywhere and everywhere with the option of home always in their hearts.

Wild as the drinks that make you dance on table tops and kiss strangers.

Breathe in.

If only to feel alive because spontaneity is played by those who crave adventure.

It’s for those who crave each other. 

Lust and love.

Fall in love with a one night stand for just one night but promise to respect your body.

Crave love in everyone you meet and long for a soul that will understand your own.

Have the patience of your mother and keep her strength too.

Be brave like trees swaying in hurricanes.

Pray for the opportunity to spread positivity.

Love fiercely, move fearlessly and chase what everyone is too scared to run after. 

Rejection isn’t for the weak- it’s for the willing who know they are capable of rising.

And you must decide to rise. 

Until Tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Unsteady Dating Habits of This Generation

I’m lost in a generation that doesn’t fit my dreams. I’m settling for a scene that produces heart break and casual love.

I’m not a casual love kind of girl.

I’m not a casual fling, a one night stand or a buddy you can call when it’s convenient.

I’m not a waste of fear like half of the people around me seem to be.

They’re afraid.

Afraid of commitment, afraid of fighting, even afraid of talking to someone they find remotely interesting.

Why is that so terrifying to us now?

Why is there a timeline of love?

My grandparents dated for 6 months before getting engaged and were married shortly after.

Why does this fear of interaction keep us from committing to one person?

It may be this generation’s way of dating, but it’s not mine.

I’ll stay hopeful for the ones out there who feel the way I do about love.

It should be fought for, worked for and approached with confidence.

You should be able to go up to someone and talk with them because you want to get to know them, not because you’ll be seen as overbearing or needy.

What is the point of playing hard to get? What is the point of a chase?

Life isn’t a game and I refuse to treat it like one.

I’m a playful person but this is serious to me and I’ll treat it as so.

I’m looking for something… MORE.

More than timed texts and waiting three days to call.

I’m looking for electricity.

I’ve seen sparks in people and I know what it is that makes me glow.

It’s going to be tough to wait for someone who wants the same kind of love I do, but it will be worth it.

And it will inspire.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

 

 

Impressing Women: Matured Adult Version

Do you want to know how to impress me?

Show me your mind. 

Tell me stories of your favorite places and why you love the music you do.

Share with me fears that drive you or keep you at bay.

Tell me what you think about religion and politics.

I want to see your eyes when you talk about what you believe in.

Tell me your biggest dreams.

Do you want to skydive over the ocean?

What brings the biggest smile to your face?

Share with me a piece of you that is beyond favorite colors. 

Tell me why the color blue resonates with you.

Is it the ocean? Is it your favorite football team?

You’re more than just your age.

Tell me how many struggles you’ve faced to make it that many years. 

Explain how your zodiac sign predicts your future and why your parents named you what they did.

Laugh with me about the memories you’ve created.

Cry with me about the hardest roadblocks you’ve had to overcome.

Have a conversation with me that is more than just asking about my major. Ask me WHY I chose it.

Do you believe in ghosts or heaven?

Tell me WHY you wish you could have the super power of invisibility.

Give me reasons to get excited. 

Share your passion with me.

Impress me with your depth of mind.

Make me THINK.

Don’t be afraid to dive into topics that show me how your mind works.

This is so much more impressive than a six pack or sculpted arms.

A great conversation is worth so much more than money or good looks.

It is a window into what makes you who you are and THAT is what I’m interested in.

I care more about the person you are then about the clothes you wear or the neighborhood you’re from.

Most importantly, I want to know WHY you became that person.

I want you to wonder the same thing about me.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie