You Must Decide To Rise

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Breathe.

Breathe in light.

Breathe out darkness.

Raise your palms to the sun so your fingertips can be touched by hope.

Close your eyes so you can imagine how blessed you are to be so loved.

Wild and free.

Wind blowing throw fields of sunflowers so yellow it’s petals drip happiness.

Free as the birds who fly anywhere and everywhere with the option of home always in their hearts.

Wild as the drinks that make you dance on table tops and kiss strangers.

Breathe in.

If only to feel alive because spontaneity is played by those who crave adventure.

It’s for those who crave each other. 

Lust and love.

Fall in love with a one night stand for just one night but promise to respect your body.

Crave love in everyone you meet and long for a soul that will understand your own.

Have the patience of your mother and keep her strength too.

Be brave like trees swaying in hurricanes.

Pray for the opportunity to spread positivity.

Love fiercely, move fearlessly and chase what everyone is too scared to run after. 

Rejection isn’t for the weak- it’s for the willing who know they are capable of rising.

And you must decide to rise. 

Until Tomorrow,

Anna Marie

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It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

It’s okay to be utterly defeated but still feel happiness.

It’s okay to want something you can’t have but appreciate all that you do.

It’s okay to miss someone even if you’re surrounded by so many incredible people.

It’s okay to not be okay.

If you feel anger, push it into a place that will fuel you.

If you feel sadness, cry until your tears float you a little closer to the sky.

If you feel abandoned, hug yourself with warm blankets and tea or let someone else do it for a change.

It’s okay to not be okay.

When you want love, know it arrives and leaves exactly when it’s supposed to.

When you want happiness, know that it starts with the way you view the world.

When you want success, know how hard you must fight to make it yours.

It’s okay to feel a little disappointed.

It’s okay to feel lost.

But when you decide to stop cringing from your safe place in a ball on the ground, stand up.

Find what you love to do and do it with passion.

It’s okay to not be okay but it is NOT okay to let it consume you.

Surround yourself with people who love you and love them fiercely.

Go on an adventure even if you don’t feel like it because you know the memories will be worth it.

Laugh as much as possible and daydream about where you are headed.

You can do these things even if you don’t feel okay.

You can experience happiness and still not feel okay.

It’s a process of growing.

It’s a process of becoming something utterly new and that IS okay.

Take your life day by day because that’s really all we can handle in 24 hours.

Plans change daily, futures are made up on the spot and dreams just keep getting bigger.

Chase down what you want and make it yours.

It’s never too late to start again.

We do it every morning.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

You Can Shine in Darkness

Shine

When it’s dark outside, demons have a way of crawling in-between the spaces I have created happiness in.

They take shape in memories and what if’s… always preaching about what I could have done or how I’ve failed.

They whine like wolves to my heart strings, screeching and howling until I bleed from the sound.

My demons slither beneath my skin and swallow any light I’ve found within me.

But I once heard you have to friend your enemies.

And I slowly deceived the demons. 

I let the wounds bleed and would dab at them with reminders of what I love to do when they were not looking.

I got to know them and their plan to control my happiness and I quietly learned the reasons behind their savageness. 

I crept silently into their world only to befriend the enemy and discover strategies of all different calibers. 

Only after the enemy tore my spirit limb from limb did I blast through the scars with a light so bright my eyes couldn’t remember the sight of darkness.

And I shined.

And I healed every wound with a petrifying force that created a warmth so compassionate the demons started weeping.

I started weeping.

And I won’t ever forget this feeling of what it once was to feel so dark inside that only my own happiness could cure the shadows.

Because I thought that every ounce of light had left me when it was always patiently sitting, waiting for when I was ready.

I’m ready now.

I’m shining.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

I Hate Goodbyes

I hate the anticipation of a goodbye. I hate the gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, all consuming fear attached to the moment of not knowing if you’re going to see someone again.

It’s incredible how people can come crashing into our lives. Without expectation, one person can change our entire future and most of the time they don’t even realize the gravity they have on you.

It’s almost crazy how fast we can become friends with someone and trust them with our deepest secrets. Our most sacred thoughts can be gently handed over in a matter of seconds of feeling like the other person understands us. 

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Look to the sky for a sign. Tonight’s goodbye will be hard but you’ll be better because of it.

This is why I hate goodbyes. We can become so close to someone in just a few days of the right conversations and yet, sometimes a goodbye looms above us with finality and heartbreak. How do we know if we will ever see someone again?

I’ve said a lot of goodbyes. Some fading out like the end of a movie, some shaking me to my core and some that I was never ready for. Goodbye is never easy. Goodbye to the dead is for ourselves to feel closure and remember them in light. Goodbye to someone we once loved in any way both frees and breaks us. Goodbyes to places or things grip our hearts as we flash back to the memories we made there.

I’ve learned that goodbye never gets easier, you just get stronger. Sometimes the last thing you want to do after a goodbye is move forward, even when that’s all you have left. Some goodbyes sting for a few days and some sting for a few years. Some are easier than others.

The most important thing is remembering that people stay in your life for exactly the right amount of time. Whether it’s two weeks or twenty years, if someone has fulfilled their role in your life and you have to say goodbye for whatever reason, let them go.

By clinging to a past filled with what if’s and could of, should of, would of’s we prohibit the life we’re supposed to live from happening. If we could only see that somewhere in the future there is a silver lining, we might find goodbyes a little easier.

Have faith that saying goodbye will only lead to a dozen new hello’s.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

If You’re Going Through A Lot, This Letter Is For You

Dear Troubled Mind,

I know what you’re going through isn’t easy. I know that every day is a constant battle to choose to do things that will make you happy or to curl up and cry. Every morning you wake up and wait to see if you can feel a good or bad day coming and you’re nervous to succumb to the anxious dreams you’ve been living in every night.

You’re terrified of being left alone because you don’t think you are strong enough to stand without hands holding you up. Yet, you’re sick of everyone tip toeing around subjects and jokes that only make you think of everything you’re trying to ignore.

I know that you can’t stop the pain from hitting you just as hard as it did the first time and that you’re sick of waiting for enough time to pass to make things alright.

I felt this way. Some days, I still feel this way. So from me… to you… I’m going to tell you what you need to hear.

You are strong. Not because you have moved along or have forgotten, but because you have felt every single ounce of pain that has been with you and you are learning to live with it.

Time doesn’t fix all wounds, it allows us to learn how to deal with the missing piece we thought we needed to survive. It allows us to understand how to handle the pain of whatever change we feel destroyed us. Every day, the pain doesn’t go away, we just learn how to embrace it and how to push forward even with new scars.

That is why you are strong. You have cracks and burns in your heart but it still beats. You still smile and laugh because no one can take that from you.

Whatever event changed you… whether it was a betrayal, a break up, a death or anything else, know that the person who caused this much pain didn’t get off too easy themselves. Don’t hate them. Don’t resent them for what happened. They have made you into the person you are supposed to be and maybe their time in aiding your future is up.

Forgive. Forgive whatever has happened and forgive yourself. You don’t need to let go of a person because in all honesty, a part of us will truly never let go of something we love, but accept that you cannot change the past. Let go of the control you no longer have and embrace what is yet to come.

Let go of the blame you place on yourself or another person and let go of the idea that a grand gesture will come along. Let go of the memories but still appreciate them. Let go of what you had and look forward to what could be. A door closes only to have a few windows creak open.

Understand the beauty and happiness that you deserve. You are so much more than a face or a body. You have a soul that can shine light through the darkest of nights. You have love that can leave someone speechless and kindness that spreads like wildfire.

Right now, stop thinking of ways to put others before yourself. Stop thinking of ways to apologize, react, conversations, plots that might change the outcome of what has happened.

Start thinking of yourself.  Choose YOU. If you’re terrified to be alone, that is a huge cry that you are exactly who you need right now. You need to find comfort in yourself. You have to love yourself to heal the cuts that are deep in your heart. No one can say something that is going to magically reset your happiness. You have to fight to get that back, no matter how unfair it seems.

Every single day when you wake up, you need to push forward. Don’t let yourself wallow on the couch or lay in bed all day. Do something about your pain.

Smother the pain with self-love. Love yourself by doing what makes you happy and for enjoying your own company.

No one can heal you like you can. Look at yourself in the mirror and have a conversation explaining why you deserve joy and appreciation. Then give it to yourself. Appreciate who you are and why you are an amazing soul.

Keep fighting. Maybe you fought hard for someone else and they gave up and now you don’t know why you put so much effort into something that failed. Well, keep fighting. Not for them anymore, but for yourself. Don’t give up now. You fought to be happy with someone/something else and now you must fight to be happy all by yourself.

Love deeper than anything you’ve ever felt before. Love is pain’s antibiotic. Love with each cell in your body and give it your all. Your friends, your family, your significant other or even your dog. Pour love into others and you’ll find that the ones who truly care will give you just as much love back.

Push forward, choose to love yourself and you WILL find happiness.

Until next time,

Anna Marie