In Case of Emergency

In case of emergency, press pause. 

Smash your rose colored glasses and instead paint your lenses black so you can’t see the possibility of love. 

Keep your mouth glued shut and write STOP on your forearm.

It’s a reminder to knock yourself down before you can possibly begin to fight.

In case of emergency, run away as fast as you can.

Build a wall so high and thick that your own paranoia is the only thing that can make you feel fear. 

Erase “emotion” from your vocabulary and become selfish so you can detach yourself from literally anyone you find yourself enjoying. 

What is the point of opening up anyways? 

In case of emergency, don’t label a single thing. 

They’re not your play thing, your significant other, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your partner, your person that you’re kind of seeing. 

Labels mean you have to consider another person and God forbid this generation actually figures out their feelings. 

In case of emergency, never ever let yourself feel out of control and just end things before they are ended for you.

This is not okay but it’s the reality of how we date today.

Change the way we date. Take cowardice out of the equation.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

 

 

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We Need To Stop The “No Expectations” Advice

“If you don’t expect anything, you won’t get hurt.”

You also won’t work for anything either. You won’t try but I guess you also won’t fail.

I understand what this “no expectations” outbreak is going for… don’t expect too much because you’ll put yourself in a situation that may make you unhappy. You may be far too demanding of those around you and constantly put yourself in a position to disappoint your own wishes. I get that, but NO expectations?

Don’t tell young people of this age that we should have NO expectations in life. There is SO many great expectations that we can hold that push us further and make us work hard.I have expectations for a lot of things. I’m human and believe that we should carry expectations for ourselves.

For example:

Relationships. We should expect to be treated with respect. If we don’t expect that, we can easily become a doormat. I don’t think anyone likes feeling that way. We should expect someone to care about us and show it because it’s what we need to share a happy relationship (at least for some of us). If we don’t expect to be cared about then what the heck do we even date for? You might as well marry a rock. Or a log. I don’t know. I don’t expect strangers to care about me and I can’t have you on the same plane as them.

We can expect to be loved. Isn’t that what you get into a relationship for? If I don’t expect you to love me then I probably don’t care about you at all. I expect you to work through problems with me because that is what you’re supposed to do in a relationship (in my eyes). If I don’t expect that, we will hold grudges or resent each other until we are such a dysfunctional couple we aren’t happy anymore.

When it goes too far… I don’t expect flowers or to be showered with gifts. I just expect some type of effort because that’s what I believe a relationship needs. I don’t expect us to never fight. I don’t expect you to be perfect or for either of us to always be right. I just want your love.

Career. We can expect to get a degree if we work hard and follow the guidelines to earn one. I wouldn’t be in college if I didn’t expect to get a degree at the end of it all. We expect to get hired eventually doing something we love because we will have earned a higher education to do so and have worked our butts off to get the special requirements needed.

When it goes too far… I won’t expect to get a raise because I think I deserve it. I won’t expect to get promoted if there are other great candidates around me. I won’t expect to work my way up easily.

Friendships. We can expect honesty. We can expect to be there for one another. We can expect to ask each other to hang out and put some effort in.

When it goes too far… I don’t expect me to be your best friend or your only friend. I don’t expect us to always be free or super close to each other.

It really makes me upset to see so many people say they just won’t expect anything anymore. You should have standards set for your goals and what you want out of life. Just don’t get carried away. That’s why quotes like this get popularized. Don’t expect TOO MUCH but please, for the love of all that is good and pure, expect something out of the world around you.

Until next time,

Anna Marie

If It’s Good, If It’s Right… Choose Love

I read this absolutely beautiful post called “Marriage Isn’t For You” by Seth Adam Smith yesterday and his words sent my mind into a thinking attack.

He talked about how you don’t love someone for yourself and you don’t marry someone for you, you do it for the one you love. You marry someone for them not for you. You do it because you choose to make them laugh each and every day and choose to work through challenges thrown in your direction. You want to give that person happiness and so you’ll fight through.

It was truly beautiful. 

So I thought to myself, when I loved, was it for me? Did I choose love?

I know that you can’t help but feel sparks with certain people out there and you may not help yourself from being attracted to that person.

A few months down the road, maybe you start dating and you dive into the honeymoon phase where bliss is never ending and he or she feels like the most perfect person you could have imagined coming into your life.

They’re not perfect. You’ll figure that out. Once that honeymoon period fades… and it will, you will feel as confused as a llama standing in Times Square. You feel different, you’re not sure if this person is right for you, you question every part of your relationship, you wonder if this person could be the one you’re sitting with on a porch swing 65 years down the road.

It’s hard to know if what you’re feeling is normal or not.

This is when you can make the choice to love. That initial attraction and insane whirl wind romance has faded and what is left? For some people, it’s not enough. Or it doesn’t feel normal. Or maybe it’s just really scary and overwhelming when the fireworks show has ended. Are you going to leave alone or with someone?

It’s not easy. 

But I’ve been in this position. I went through every single emotion and question in my mind and searched the corners of the universe to figure out if this was normal thinking and I figured it out. I chose love. I look at the words Seth Adam Smith typed and I think “yes, I loved for him, not for myself.” I didn’t know it at the time but I loved to make him happy and I poured my love into what we had.

That is a choice that I will never regret.

Was he perfect for me? No, of course not. No one is. But we had something my 21 years of living could not describe and I knew that I would not give up on what I knew the future could be. Every single couple goes through this transition and it’s a choice if you want to love anymore.

The scariest part about choosing love, is if it’s not chosen by the one you love.

Sometimes, people aren’t strong enough to make it through that decision and they can’t think about it anymore so they choose themselves. That’s okay. Maybe it was the right decision and you’re setting up both sides of the relationship for an even better love down the road. Or maybe you just lost the love of your life (Devil’s Advocate).

But let me tell this to the people of the universe, if you EVER feel like you may have screwed up with love, don’t you ever be afraid to fix it. You won’t be able to tell until enough time has passed but make sure you feel confident in your decision.

To the other people of the universe, if someone HAS NOT chosen to love you, don’t you dare wait around for them. You need to choose someone to love that is going to choose you back. We all deserve that much.

Because we all deserve to choose our love. 

From the hopeless romantic to her readers, choose love. If it’s right, if it’s good, if that person is your best friend, please just choose love and don’t you dare let that person go.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

Who I Am, Who Are You?

I’m a Caucasian female in her twenties. I’m an American red headed middle child . I’m a college student in the Midwest.  Do you think you know me yet? I bet some of you do.

That’s what I’m labeled as. You can make a lot of conclusions from that information but that’s not who I am.

Today, I am going to tell you the top three things that I think you need to know about me in order to understand a vague outline of the person I am. I will do this, in hopes that you will return the favor and tell me three things that make you who you are.

It’s so important to understand ourselves before we can start to grow as a person. We cannot be a better version of ourselves if we don’t know where the starting line is. We also can’t finish the race if we’re struggling for the start line. Understand yourself before you decide if you want to make a change.

SO…

Photography by the lovely Steph!

…who am I?

I am smart. I am strong in academics in school because I crave knowledge. I want to know everything about anything and love to know depth on various subjects. I don’t like to half-ass learning and take advantage of any opportunity to improve any skill I have. I am also smart when it comes to my actions and thinking. Everything I do is usually very deliberate and thought out. I rarely say or do things without thinking it out first unless I am extremely comfortable with someone. I am very observant of others and can usually get a very good picture of a person within the first few times of meeting them.

I am driven. I have strength that I don’t realize can push me to do more than my mind believes. I am strong-willed and determined to reach goals and accomplish tasks. I am always putting my best foot forward in each situation and will give 100% effort at all times. I can be stubborn with this quality but I am always focusing on a goal while enjoying the ride. I can do what I put my mind to.

I am caring. I inherited my mothers big heart. I have a passion for people, stories and those who I can see a part of myself reflected in. I have a need to help those who are struggling and am a good listener to those who need it. I wear my heart on my sleeve because I believe it takes a certain kind of bravery to be open and honest. While sometimes this has hurt me beyond words, I will never regret the connections I have made with others because I opened up myself to them. I have a knack for caring about each and every good person I meet, no matter how long I’ve known them. When I get to know someone, they’ll always have memories in my past that have created the person I am today.

As of today, I feel like these three traits are some of my strongest. I understand the upsides and downsides to each trait I have and in recognizing them, I know where I want to go from here. I want to continue to call myself smart, driven and caring so that others will be able to see the same qualities I see in myself.

Your turn. It doesn’t have to be what everyone else tells you. It doesn’t have to be what you felt yesterday. Right now, what three traits do you feel explain a vague outline of who you are?

Understand yourself so you can better understand others.

Happy Monday!

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Dear Broken Heart

Dear Broken Heart,

I know what you feel right now. I know that your chest is caving in and you feel like an elephant is sitting on you. It feels like your heart is trying to pump concrete through your body and it’s slowly turning to stone. You feel like your mind is obsessed with “what ifs” and “whys” and as hard as you try, you can’t stop the tears from falling.

I know that every time you see something another memory surfaces. Every time something good or bad happens you think of that person. Every time someone asks you if you’re okay you say yes to be polite but know that right now, you’re far from okay.

I know that you don’t want to deal with the questions because you still haven’t answered them yourself. I know that no matter how many people tell you “you deserve more” you nod even though you don’t feel that way right now.

I know that the one person you want to talk to about everything isn’t here for you anymore. I know that you want so badly to talk to them. I know you can’t help but feel hope that some day they will recognize the mistake they made in letting you go. I know how hard it is for you to even consider letting go.

I know that you can give yourself the best pep talk in the world but you can’t force yourself to feel better. You still need time to overthink answers and cross check reasons and dig for any shred of light that might give you the strength to move past this.

I know that right now, you feel like a failure. You feel like there is something wrong with you that cannot be fixed and that you aren’t worthy of love. You feel betrayed and broken because you would have done anything for that person.

WHAT I KNOW… My sweet, injured heart, is that you will be okay.

It’s okay if it’s not today. It’s okay if it’s not tomorrow. But every day you will have a moment where you do feel okay. And in time that moment will grown into minutes, hours, days until eventually you feel strong and whole and ready to open your heart again.

You are worthy of love and affection. You are beautiful and kind and if someone gives you up, they are giving you a chance to be found by someone else who could love you deeper. Even when all you want is that person, you might not get them again and to accept that, is to understand that you cannot change it.

You are going to struggle to understand and that’s okay. You are going to hope that he is going to run back to you and for now, that’s okay. You need hope to give you strength so you can let go.

You are going to be terrified of moving on because you aren’t sure if you want to. Breathe in, breathe out. Take time to yourself now because that’s what you deserve.

Let go of the pain. Of the guilt. Let go of the self-doubt.

How do you look into the eyes of someone you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away? When that person can look into your eyes and tell you that they don’t want you anymore. You deserve to be wanted. You deserve love.

Take time for yourself to put back together the pieces. It’s up to you, not to anyone else. You are strong enough to heal your heart and come out of this stronger and even more willing to fall in love again.

It’s you. You have to be the one to save yourself. You have to love yourself so you can be loved again. It’s horrifying and heartbreaking but what you need right now isn’t him or her. It’s you. You need yourself to stand tall and to lift your chin up. Be proud of what you have given and understand that after all of the effort, it’s your turn to let go so you can be happy again.

You’re the hero in this story and you will feel strong again. The love you need has to come from you right now. We both know you deserve it.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie