I Vow, 2017.

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I vow to worry less about others love for me and work harder to give that love to myself.

I vow to breathe through anxiety and put myself first.

I vow to say no without an explanation and feel comfortable doing so.

I vow to love fiercely in every way possible.

I vow to be vulnerable and real.

I vow to not let the fear of judgement control who I am.

I vow not to measure my success by the amount of likes on a picture or the amount of compliments in person.

I vow to keep some goals to myself and smash the hell out of them.

I vow to let go of could-bes and things that don’t work out.

I vow to truly take in the moments that make me carefree.

I vow to say what’s on my mind even if it isn’t what someone agrees with.

I vow to minimize the “stuff” I purchase and save it for the experiences I can live.

I vow to be open and genuine.

I vow to never numb myself to joy for fear of feeling pain later on.

I vow to say sorry less, to stop apologizing for who I am.

I vow to keep feeling every single emotion fullly and showing the world how it should be done.

I vow to call myself beautiful and believe it.

I vow to work through rejection in an effort to better myself.

I vow to have more courage to tell someone how I feel only for the sake of them knowing.

I vow to always find hope in any incredible amount of darkness I face.

I vow to accept that which I cannot change and move forward in the direction I’ve been pushed and pulled.

I vow, for one year, to give every ounce of love to myself so that others know how it should be done.

I vow, for one year, to be exactly who I am in the most kind and genuine way possible. 

I vow, for one year, to put my happiness utterly and completely before anyone else’s. 

I will always keep pushing, keep striving and keep growing.

I will never give up.

Love,

Anna Marie

Love Her

 

 

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Oh please, just love her.

Love her to the ends of the earth.

Love her vastly and openly, let her be who she’s supposed to be.

Push her to explore. 

Push her to try again.

Love her for who she is and not who she could be.

Love her whole. 

Love her in pieces.

Love the way she’s not perfect. 

Encourage her to love the imperfections too.

Love her to love yourself better.

Love her to heal your fears.

Love her excitement.

Love how she loves you.

Squeeze her tight and kiss her hard.

Love her so much. 

Oh please, just love her.

 

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

 

 

I Hope You Stay You.

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I hope, at the end of the day, you’re you.

I hope that the fire in your soul fuels your bravery and the criticism of society burns in the flames.

I hope you love so freely that it scares people away and attracts the deepest friendships of your life.

I hope you spike your hot cocoa to stay warm and breathe in the crisp winter air because the contrast is sacred.

I hope you fall in love so bad it hurts and he only stays if he let’s you be exactly who you are.

I hope you always stay exactly who you are.

Never a dimmed light-

never a watered down version-

always, 100% you.

I hope you eat french fries and skip the salad once in a while.

I hope you call yourself beautiful.

I hope you look in the mirror and accept yourself for your own beauty ideal.

I hope you talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.

I hope you practice kindness and stay genuine.

I hope you aren’t afraid to feel sadness and learn how to carry it with you.

I hope that you inspire yourself to be brave and believe in yourself to be fearless.

I hope you know that you can do anything.

Whatever you want, just do it.

I hope that you care for others in a way that makes them love you to the ends of the earth and fight like hell for what you believe in.

I hope your beliefs are never shoved down the throats of others.

I hope you listen to the silence for all that it says.

I hope you listen just to listen and not to respond.

I hope that you are missed by the ones you love and miss those you adore.

I hope you remember to smile.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself.

I hope that someone finds that light of yours and let’s it shine as bright as ever before.

I hope no one tries to take away your spirit.

I hope you never let them.

I hope you never apologize for what isn’t in your control.

I hope that you share yourself if only so you feel more confident in who you are.

I hope you never change.

I will always hope, at the end of the day, that you are you.

Stay you.

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

To Be Inspired

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To be inspired is to laugh so hard your body shakes. 

To hug someone who has continuously given you their time and love.

To breathe a sigh of relief after a big test.

You know that feeling when you can feel something inside you building?

Courage, determination, strength or pure happiness?

And then you finally approach that person or run that extra mile and you just feel… good.

Not good- inspired.

Inspiration is driven from chalk being twirled and pressed into concrete.

From 26 letters of the alphabet creating a novel that erupts passion.

From that one person you couldn’t live without whose presence sends your mood to the moon.

It’s biting into a piece of pizza and closing your eyes because the combination is just right as it dances on your tongue.

It’s that wave of heat that encompasses you as you step from painfully frozen air into a heated building.

It’s the excitement of a stranger saying “Good Morning” or smiling at you just because they are  swallowed in their own happiness.

Inspiration comes from new eyes searching the world around you.

From appreciating the moments that we so easily forget.

Taking our pants off.

Falling into a warm bed.

Stretching sore muscles.

It’s the way we look at ordinary days.

Because those ordinary days make up our lives.

That’s how we will create an inspired life- by living and breathing the beauty that goes into simply waking up in a comfortable home that was created by you.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

 

 

Screw Technology

This is what pain feels like. 

Pain is feeling completely isolated when surrounded by a group of people who barely look up.

Pain is your courage to finally share a story to a room of people looking down at their cellphones, unable to so much as glance in your direction to hear about your vivid excitement or obvious distress.

Pain is not a single person in the room looking up to make eye contact with you, just solemn “mhms” and nods that are part of a performance- of how they should be reacting to make you feel “important”.

Pain is when someone finally looks you in the eye, you breathe a sigh of relief and gratitude because you are finally being heard, until you catch their thumbs moving automatically… not even needing sight to be imprisoned by a screen.

Pain is getting to the rising action and recognizing that not a single person is looking at you.

Pain is stopping mid-sentence in complete defeat, only to feel unworthy when no one realizes you’ve ended your attempt at conversation.

Pain is having this happen to you over and over again.

When was the last time you were truly WITH someone? When was the last time you turned your phone off so you could drink in every syllable of someone who trusts you to take an interest in their life?

Can you comprehend the utterly gut wrenching pain that shoots throughout someone when you look at your phone in the middle of a conversation?

Do you know how awful it feels to think you don’t matter because a text, a Facebook notification, a like is more important then the time someone is spending with you?

It’s ridiculous.

If you care about someone, prove it. Give them your undivided attention. Ask them questions, engage with them, ask them how their day is.

How often do we actually get asked how our days are that isn’t just a subtle formality? 

How often does someone actually care about how our days went?

No one deserves to feel like this.

Put your phone down and show someone you care.

Put your phone down and save the relationships you haven’t already damaged.

Put your phone down and respect someone’s time with you.

Just put your damn phone down. 

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

 

 

 

Laying All My Secrets Bare

Sometimes inspiration is taking what you feel angry about and fighting against it.

Well, I’m not fighting today. I’m taking all of this accumulating anger and pushing them into words.

This is about recognizing what you’re feeling.

Then it’s having the balls to write about it.

I Hope You Know

I hate admitting that I still think about you.

I hate it. 

I have never been more angry with myself or with another person.

I have never expected more from a human being who has let me down.

You make me angry.

It’s crazy how quickly my anger dissolves when I try to confront someone.

It’s like I have two people sharing my body and the nice one always overrules the mean one.

My words come out kinder and where I want to say “you are awful for what you did to me” I say “it’s okay”. 

But it’s not okay.

It was never okay.

I need a formula to tell me how much time passes before you don’t cross my mind every day. 

I need a million dollars to pay off my University so I can finally leave these towns and these memories.

I need a plane ticket to the next town out of here.

Because I am sick of being the girl who can’t stand up for herself for fear of being mean.

I’m sick of fighting for people that fight way too hard to be let go by me. 

Some people deserve to feel your anger.

You, especially, deserve to feel my anger.

Because I have never felt more rage than I have had within me. 

And as badly as I want to march to your door, punch you square in the jaw, force you to apologize and walk away, I somehow control every heart-wrenching emotion and I fight it every single day because I tell myself that it’s not worth it.

It wouldn’t change anything.

It sure as hell won’t make me a better person.

It sure as hell won’t make you snap out of it.

It sure as hell won’t give me any answers.

And that’s the worst part.

Knowing the cowardice behind fake answers and I don’t knows.

Because you do know.

And  it’s not worth my time anymore.

But it doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.

And I’ll keep thinking about it until enough days pass that the bitterness fades or I just get used to it being a familiar friend.

No one will ever understand the strength it takes to write about pain and what you’re feeling. It’s terrifying and vulnerable. But I found that vulnerability only hurts when you don’t use it. Vulnerability is beautiful and that’s why I write about what hurts. I have decided to be a completely open book in these next few posts. Honesty is beautiful.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

The Spoil Yourself Project

If you live your life in any way, shape or form that resembles mine, you are a giver. You constantly are trying to console, advise or listen to those around you and sometimes you completely forget about the person who might need all of those things the most- you.

It’s not that we don’t love being there for others because believe me, it’s built into our DNA. However, I have been told quite a few times that I should just take a breather and focus a bit on what I want out of life and begin to do certain things just for me.

We have our dreams but are we doing anything to get us there? We have the ideal person we imagine ourselves to be but you will never be that person unless you start to work at it right NOW.

So here are a few simple things you can do to start something I have named the “Spoil Yourself Project”. Simply because I keep forgetting to do things that will make me a happier person. Therefore if I write them down and PLAN them, I do it and take that step closer to the person I want to become.

IMG_78711. Make a list of things you love to do or things that make you happy. I wrote down everything from painting my nails to laying in bed with the Christmas lights on and candles lit. Make it endless. Do you love walks by the river? Reading books? Make a giant list of what you love that makes you happy.

2. Do you have a planner? Schedule an item for EVERY day of the week. That’s right, you should be doing something for yourself every single day. Write it down so you can cross it off and feel good about accomplishing something simply for YOU that day. Maybe even just schedule a time you want to do something for yourself and then take a look at your list and choose. It’s truly up to you.

3. When you are doing whatever task you want, make sure you relish in the moment. Don’t treat it like a chore because it will defeat the entire purpose of spoiling yourself. Now is the time to focus on YOU and it’s important to appreciate the small joys that are a part of your being.

4. GO! Hop to it and eventually, you won’t even need a penciled in reminder that you should be doing something for your well-being every single day.

Best of luck with the ones who need to be spoiled by themselves.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

Do you like you?

I love writing but some days I have to remind myself that I started doing it for my own growth and expression. So yes, depending on where I am in my life, I will be writing about tough times or insanely hilarious moments. I will be sharing stories and mysteries that race through my mind.

It’s kind of beautiful to get to know someone through their words and I believe that Inspired She Lives, in it’s purest form, is me. 

So enjoy as more words continue to flow out of me!

Raindrops drip purity 

They slide slowly, always lurking at our deepest flaws as if to spend the most time trying to understand them

Because they only know innocence

And are confused by what we call imperfection

Don’t you know what you’re worth?

Sunshine fights shadows to warm up how calloused we’ve become

It feels a lot like fighting ourselves to stay loving and kind

Oceans calm thousands just by washing our toes

Is that why waves retreat back into their selves after touching our pain?

Depths that were never explored and creatures left undiscovered

Maybe that is where all of our secrets go after crying to the sea

Tumbling through forests until we can finally hear our own thoughts

Is this how getting lost finally allows you to find yourself?

Dreaming of futures that we are scared to chase

Maybe this is what it’s like to get stuck in quick sand

Fighting and climbing until we create ourselves

Do you like the person who blinks at you through mirrors?

I don’t know how this passage came out of me but if I had to analyze myself, I’m sure I’m going through a lot of self-evaluations at this time in my life. I’m graduating college in the next year and with that, comes SO many big girl decisions! So at this exciting time in my life, I must consider what I want and who I am at this very moment.

I just can’t think too hard.

Happy Monday!

Until next time,

Anna Marie

I am STILL a Damn Butterfly

(A creative and magnificent sequel to this post right HERE!)

They say that your twenties are filled with change and seven hundred different versions of yourself. Well, “they” got it right.

I have changed more in the past six months than I feel like I have in my entire life.

I have jumped from version 20.0 to 20.35, skipping through different Anna’s until one new aspect sticks to me, creating this ultimate version of Anna that I’m starting to enjoy.

And as I was rolling in fuzzy blankets underneath the Christmas lights that decorate my room, I saw a shadow cast on my wall that looked like… a butterfly.

It reminded me of a small passage I wrote two nights ago that I didn’t think I would share on Inspired She Lives, but we’re all about opening up here. Acceptance and love, right?

So here it is.

I’m Still A Damn Butterfly

We get broken as a test to see how well we can transform.

We spin around and around, weaving our cocoon until the only thing we have left to do is wait. 

Wait until enough time passes.

Wait for our wings to grow.

Wait for our colors to brighten.

Or just wait for our patience to run out.

But we find our strength in ourselves because that is our only option and the patience…

It stays.

And after weeks and weeks of metamorphosis, we spread our wings and realize that our wings are ready to fly. 

And though our journey was long, it was beautiful.

And WE are beautiful.

🙂

Thankfully, some words pour out of me and tell me how I am feeling. These words that are written were not over thought or carefully crafted. They bled from the scars that come with change and soothed the little girl who is sick of all the villains in her life.

So thank you so much for reading. I hope your Monday conquers every other Monday before it.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

For When You Are Just Tired…

This post was inspired by the beautiful article from Elite Daily and the link can be found in the P.S. at the bottom of the post.

I’M TIRED.

Just thinking of words to say makes me feel like I’m mustering up a kind of energy I can barely spare. I’m not just the kind of tired that drags your eyelids closed and whisks you into sleepland.

I’m tired, in all honesty, in every single form. My brain cannot process the knowledge I need to learn. My emotions are so exhausted from being in overdrive that sometimes I can barely feel anything at all. I’m physically drained from sleepless nights that are consumed by racing thoughts that won’t let me sink into the pillow quite as much as I crave.

So when I read the a fore mentioned article, I had the most confusing sense of understanding. Oh, I thought, I am not weak, I’m tired. Every word was applauded by the beating of my heart and each sentence whispered straight to my soul.

The state of tired I’m in is because of the most difficult changes I have been putting myself through. If I’m tired, it’s because I’m moving. Maybe not as fast as I’d like to, but even a glacial crawl is putting me closer to where I want to be.

And everything made sense to me.

I’m exhausted because I’m transforming. I’m making new routines, trying new things and exploring new dreams. I am creating a new me and it is an extremely overwhelming amount of effort.

My patience is thin and my hope is at an all time low and it wasn’t until last night that I looked at myself in the mirror and asked my reflection “Do you see how far you’ve come?”

Because I hadn’t until that moment.

I hadn’t realized the thousands of miles I have trekked or the wounds that I’ve been tending to. I didn’t realize the fight I have been unconsciously  participating in every day or the power behind my footsteps. I am truly transforming.

Transforming yourself isn’t easy my friends and it sure as hell doesn’t happen in one day. But one day I woke up and realized that I could be anyone I wanted to be and I realized how important my choices were. So I began a new journey.

So, I’m tired. I’m tired of battling to be this person but I am so unbelievably proud of myself for the challenges I’ve willingly faced to turn into someone I can give self-love to.

It’s okay to be tired, as long as you keep fighting. 

Growing is never easy but that’s why only the strongest people survive. 

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

P.S. Elite Daily: Read This When You’re Tired of Everything