I Hope You Stay You.

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I hope, at the end of the day, you’re you.

I hope that the fire in your soul fuels your bravery and the criticism of society burns in the flames.

I hope you love so freely that it scares people away and attracts the deepest friendships of your life.

I hope you spike your hot cocoa to stay warm and breathe in the crisp winter air because the contrast is sacred.

I hope you fall in love so bad it hurts and he only stays if he let’s you be exactly who you are.

I hope you always stay exactly who you are.

Never a dimmed light-

never a watered down version-

always, 100% you.

I hope you eat french fries and skip the salad once in a while.

I hope you call yourself beautiful.

I hope you look in the mirror and accept yourself for your own beauty ideal.

I hope you talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.

I hope you practice kindness and stay genuine.

I hope you aren’t afraid to feel sadness and learn how to carry it with you.

I hope that you inspire yourself to be brave and believe in yourself to be fearless.

I hope you know that you can do anything.

Whatever you want, just do it.

I hope that you care for others in a way that makes them love you to the ends of the earth and fight like hell for what you believe in.

I hope your beliefs are never shoved down the throats of others.

I hope you listen to the silence for all that it says.

I hope you listen just to listen and not to respond.

I hope that you are missed by the ones you love and miss those you adore.

I hope you remember to smile.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself.

I hope that someone finds that light of yours and let’s it shine as bright as ever before.

I hope no one tries to take away your spirit.

I hope you never let them.

I hope you never apologize for what isn’t in your control.

I hope that you share yourself if only so you feel more confident in who you are.

I hope you never change.

I will always hope, at the end of the day, that you are you.

Stay you.

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

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This Is How You’re Going To Love Me

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This is how you’re going to love me.

You’re going to fall right in.

You’re going to realize immediately that I care really fast and all at once.

I’ve tried being the aloof, mysterious girl you’ll have to chase.

But I’m not.

You’re going to appreciate that.

You’re going to love that I never played games with you- that I never made your mind reel and question what I want.

You’re going to be scared by how open I am, it’s going to all feel like too much.

But you’ll know pretty quickly how rare it is to find someone as vulnerable yet strong as I am.

I’m going to ask you hard questions, push you to open up, say things that catch you off guard and lay it all out on the line.

You’ll be ready to handle that.

You will answer every question with thought and tell me stories until 3 am when our eyes are shutting against our will.

You will be strong enough to know what I’m offering and handle every piece of my heart with care.

You will know exactly what you’re giving to me and trust me not to give up on you.

You’re going to learn about me.

Why trust doesn’t come easy to me, what I’m scared of, what I’ve struggled through… it will make you understand why I became this version of myself.

You’re going to tell me how you’ve become the person you are.

We are going to want to know everything about each other.

We are going to ask questions.

You’re going to laugh as hard as I do about the silly things and fight for your beliefs and values.

You’re going to show kindness to everyone around you and unknowingly make me a better person.

Being around me is going to do the same.

We will empower each other, support each other and laugh with each other.

You’re going to get mad at me but you won’t leave, you’ll be the first person to stay.

Because differences will happen but we both will choose to work through them.

You’ll stay because you’ll choose to love me through the hardest parts of life and dance with me through the highlight reel of life.

You’ll become my best friend and my number one fan.

You’re going to love the simplicity of being together.

You will look at me with that “she’s the one I choose” look and it will give me butterflies.

You will find that I give too much, dream really big and love deeper than you’ve ever experienced.

You’re not going to hold back.

And the idea of love is not going to scare you after a while- maybe it will seem like a lot at first- but no, you’re going to see me standing before you and you’re going to know that if there is one place you will be for the rest of your life, it will be by my side.

I can’t wait to be by yours.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

 

 

For The Ones Who Can’t Control It

ameDon’t you always just want a little more zest or a little less fear?

I was talking with my childhood best friend about how we both need to borrow a few qualities from one another. I tend to be the gal who’s feelings never ask my permission to start growing and developing and she tends to be the one who runs at any sign of attachment.

“I wish I could feel as much and as quickly as you do, it’s brave.”

“I wish I could think through people and reality before deciding the best way to go forward with someone.”

We all have our vices, we all have our strengths.

 

And I often care much too quickly and far too much.

I can’t help it. 

I can meet a stranger in a line to get our coffee and hear all about their awful day, go home and think for hours about how they are hopefully turning their night around.

I am an avid lover of stories and when people trust me with one of their tales, I instantly want to help, encourage or push them.

It’s truly an uncontrollable urge for me to get involved with every single person I meet. (Unless you’re really that awful.)

So when it comes to falling for someone in the romantic setting, I intimidate myself.

I didn’t choose the waterfall of emotions life, it chose me. 😉

Below I wrote a string of words about how falling feels for the ones who can’t control it.

I Fall. 

With the same inhibitions of a violent rainstorm, I’ll fall.

And if I fall, know that it was not my confidence that lead to every thought and feeling pouring out of me.

Know that I fell without knowledge, with subtle reluctance, with weary prayers and hope that I’ve clung to for years.

Know that I can’t help but fall for kind words and sweet memories and good mornings filled with laughter.

Know that I fall hard and quick, never pausing to recognize the fear my heart pumps through my veins or the caution my brain is trying to engage in.

With the same control of a raging river, I’ll fall.

Until next time,

Anna Marie 🙂

This Is How I’m Going To Love You

I’m not going to notice you and look over my shoulder seventeen times just so you know I’m interested. I’m not going to accidentally bump into your shoulder to have an excuse to ask you to have a conversation. I won’t play the eye contact game or giggle politely. I don’t like games because to me, love will never be a game.

I am going to get lost in my work and thoughts because the truth is, I’m not looking for you and I don’t want you to be looking for me. I want to meet and start talking not to get another date, but to get to know you immediately. Right then and there. I don’t want to pretend that I may or may not be interested in you because the truth is I am genuinely interested in every person I have ever met until I have reason not to be.

I will text you when I want to, not when Cosmo tells me I should. I will ask you to hang out whenever I want to see you, not after however many days society says I should to keep your attention. I will not work for your attention. I want you to give it to me willingly because what you see in me. 

I’ll probably text you too much and share too many personal stories much too fast because I don’t waste my time sharing myself with someone. I give too much, feel to deeply and crave to cultivate relationships. I will never feel overwhelming or like I have to think of every word coming out of my mouth. I’ll ask you questions that you’ve answered a million times and questions that you never knew you’d be asked. With you, I’ll feel safe.

I’ll laugh way too hard at something you weren’t even trying to make funny and cry too hard during sad movies. I’m going to go way too fast and far too slow with you. I’m not going to wait until the third date to kiss you and I’m going to hope you hold my hand because it feels right, not because it’s appropriate timing.

I’ll be terrified of falling in love and excited to call you mine. I’ll surprise you with endless small things and expect nothing less than love and support. I’ll say those three words only when I know they are absolutely true and will show you every day how much I mean them. 

I’ll be worried and overthink because I can’t help but stress myself out. I will say the wrong thing or make a mistake at some point because I’m human. I will apologize and forgive because two people can always work through problems if they try hard enough. 

I will fight hard and love you even harder. I will take time to myself and need to be alone. I will kiss your shoulder goodnight and never feel like I can’t be my complete self around you. I will never speak to hurt you and always remind myself of how lucky I am to be yours.

I will always respect you and never disrespect myself in the process. You and I will be best friends in love and the fire we have my change in flame but will never die out. I will never feel like I am too much or not enough. Neither will you.

I will love you fiercely and proudly because I don’t know how to love any other way. That is how I am going to love you and if you don’t want this, you don’t want me.

But to someone, it is going to be everything and more. I’m not waiting for you, but I can’t wait until the day we meet.

Yours,

Anna Marie

PS: inspired by this lovely post HERE