Impressing Women: Matured Adult Version

Do you want to know how to impress me?

Show me your mind. 

Tell me stories of your favorite places and why you love the music you do.

Share with me fears that drive you or keep you at bay.

Tell me what you think about religion and politics.

I want to see your eyes when you talk about what you believe in.

Tell me your biggest dreams.

Do you want to skydive over the ocean?

What brings the biggest smile to your face?

Share with me a piece of you that is beyond favorite colors. 

Tell me why the color blue resonates with you.

Is it the ocean? Is it your favorite football team?

You’re more than just your age.

Tell me how many struggles you’ve faced to make it that many years. 

Explain how your zodiac sign predicts your future and why your parents named you what they did.

Laugh with me about the memories you’ve created.

Cry with me about the hardest roadblocks you’ve had to overcome.

Have a conversation with me that is more than just asking about my major. Ask me WHY I chose it.

Do you believe in ghosts or heaven?

Tell me WHY you wish you could have the super power of invisibility.

Give me reasons to get excited. 

Share your passion with me.

Impress me with your depth of mind.

Make me THINK.

Don’t be afraid to dive into topics that show me how your mind works.

This is so much more impressive than a six pack or sculpted arms.

A great conversation is worth so much more than money or good looks.

It is a window into what makes you who you are and THAT is what I’m interested in.

I care more about the person you are then about the clothes you wear or the neighborhood you’re from.

Most importantly, I want to know WHY you became that person.

I want you to wonder the same thing about me.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

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Here’s Why We Get Too Attached To People

Otherwise known as the overemotional, the clingers, the givers, the ones who just care too much… and so on. These “titles” all have so many different meanings and I want to clear up what it is like to be someone who gets extremely connected with other human beings.

We crave relationships with others. We love to cultivate and grow relationships with people and there is no better feeling than recognizing when someone has crossed over into that small group of people you would do anything for.

We love with an intensity that little can handle in relationships. We give so much that sometimes we disappear into that person, unable to recognize who we are without them. We literally give a piece of us to them and trust them to take care of you like you are undoubtedly going to do for them. We love so fiercely that we forget to love ourselves and more often than not, we end up hurting because of that.

We feel each emotion deeper and stronger than the average person not because we are overemotional, but because we feel we have connected with someone so strongly that our happiness explodes brighter and our sorrow sinks deeper through the ups and downs of life. All of our emotions stem from interactions with other people, either lack of or an overabundance of it, we feel because of how others interact around us.

We love deep friendships.To get to know someone and find out every single thing about them is to feel like you have truly understood another complex being. When we recognize those who give to us, we give back. Sometimes, we give back so much that others stop giving all together until the work load sits on our shoulders and slowly weighs us down.

We want to belong.

We want to belong.

But see, people who are too attached to others can’t feel that weight when they are focused on someone they love. They don’t care the pounds they carry as long as they are doing everything possible to cultivate and help a relationship with another friend. We love genuineness and feeling like we have purpose or belong somewhere.

This is why we are told we care too much. We’re too nice. Someone can stab you in the back, crush your heart, exploit your secrets and a piece of you will always want to help them and be there for them. No matter how badly your broken and bleeding. It’s hard for us to step back and recognize when we need to protect ourselves.

It’s taken advantage of far too much. 

We can stand up for ourselves unless its to the people we love. We can be the toughest, strongest person you know but if we love you- it’s hard for us to not become putty in warm hands.

So please, for me, understand how you should be treating a person who feels so deeply and gives so much to others. 

Be patient in understanding that sometimes those emotions we have can grip our hearts without reason. Choose to be present and just listen to what they have to say. Sometimes we just need to explode even if it’s nonsense we won’t care about in ten minutes.

Be gentle. We can be overwhelming at times by how much we feel and how deeply we connect with others but that doesn’t mean you have to match it. It just means you have to try and understand that.We love and interact with friends in different ways. Believe me, we’re an understanding bunch.

Give back. This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be going overboard. Just remember that love given to someone should not be taken for granted. Every day you should think of how you appreciate another person and why you want them in your life. If you can’t come up with any reasons… what are you doing?

We find the other good eggs out there eventually.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

Depth of Feeling: I’m Letting Go of Poison

I think I’m overly attached to people. I think I feel things really deeply and when I find something good, I will do everything to take care of it because I have experienced a lot of bad. Sometimes I hold on a little too tight and if I need to completely let go, it breaks my heart because once I am close to someone, I will never truly let go without the memories surfacing once in a while. My depth of feelception (new word) is extremely massive and I’ve come to realize while it can be really beautiful, I really don’t like it sometimes.

Have you ever struggled with this? Feeling too much? Is that even a thing, because it sounds ridiculous. It’s accurate for me though, I have these moments where I feel things far too much. I’ll give you an example. I had a really good friend my freshman year of college. We got really close and had these heart to hearts that made us bond over a lot of similar experiences and trust each other.

Long story short, we had a falling out.

This is when I realized my super hero powers did not work on friendship. I tried keeping in contact with that one good friend I had, invited her to meet up to no prevail. I said that if she told me the time and place, I’d be there because I wanted to fix our friendship. She said she would text me asap. She didn’t.

And after all that trying, I stopped. I felt really hurt by it.

I still feel that stab of pain. This happened months ago and it still makes me feel betrayed when she pops up in my world. To me, losing a friend that was really close to me is like having a piece of yourself break off. I trusted her with a lot of my life stories and put a lot of time into building a friendship with her and when something like that isn’t reciprocated, it hurts. It sounds like we broke up, which I guess, we kind of did.

In other words, I felt this way deeper than a lot of people I know would have.

They would have been like, fine, I don’t care and I will get a new friend who values me. Of course, I knew I didn’t need a friend who wasn’t interested in being a part of my life anymore but it sure made me feel like I wasn’t all that special or important. Looking back, that’s not what I should have been feeling.

I have learned so much about myself and one thing that really surfaced was how insecure I was in a lot of my relationships. I usually think that when something goes wrong, it’s because of me. It’s because I’m not good enough or special enough or worth enough time to be a part of someone’s life. That’s really hard to say because it is really a summary of how I have felt through way too many relationships I have or have had in my life.

It’s almost embarrassing to say that this is how I have worked for the past 20 years and I didn’t even know it was one of my downfalls until a few days ago.

It’s really frustrating when I take a look back at these times because that’s not something I want to continue to feel about myself and it will only cause more insecurity in the future.

Since I have recognized this, I have started to give myself a lot of pep talks. Something along the lines of you can’t control how others interact with you but you can control how you interact with others. If someone isn’t a positive person in your life, you need to let go. It’s not your fault, it might not even be their fault, but it just so happens that friendships come and go and you’re probably better off without each other. 

This doesn’t mean you are unimportant because you are. Whether people recognize it or not, you are very important to quite a few people out there. But sometimes, it’s just best to let go of a poisonous flower rather than to keep staring at it’s potential beauty. If someone doesn’t recognize your value and can’t reciprocate your friendship, it’s time to make a change and sever those ties. 

Why? Because we all deserve an empowerment squad that surrounds us on a daily basis. It doesn’t mean that those people we let go are not special or worthy, it just means that they don’t mix well with what we want to conquer in our lives. That’s a hard realization, but it’s an important one. One that I am working on every minute.

I figured out that there is only so much I can do. Instead of feeling as deeply as I do and coming out disappointed, I need to change my mindset. I need to realize that I have worked hard at something and sometimes that isn’t enough. In the world, people will come and go but the people who stay will be those who share a mutual respect and compassion with you. I need to work on forgiving those who wronged me and feeling okay with letting go of people who aren’t lifting me up.

Most importantly, I need to cherish and love the ones who do this for me. Instead of dwelling on the friendship failures, I will begin dwelling on the beautiful people who have gotten to mean so much to me over the past 20 years.

This is a lot of deep thinking for a Monday, but the gray skies made me go into a very rich state of mind this morning. This was really deep and personal, but I know I’m not the only one who experiences these emotions. Thank you kindly for reading today and I hope to hear your thoughts.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie ❤

P.S. When I say relationships, I don’t mean between my man and I, I mean all relationships in my life. Family, friends, acquaintances, the whole shebang. 🙂