Here’s Why We Get Too Attached To People

Otherwise known as the overemotional, the clingers, the givers, the ones who just care too much… and so on. These “titles” all have so many different meanings and I want to clear up what it is like to be someone who gets extremely connected with other human beings.

We crave relationships with others. We love to cultivate and grow relationships with people and there is no better feeling than recognizing when someone has crossed over into that small group of people you would do anything for.

We love with an intensity that little can handle in relationships. We give so much that sometimes we disappear into that person, unable to recognize who we are without them. We literally give a piece of us to them and trust them to take care of you like you are undoubtedly going to do for them. We love so fiercely that we forget to love ourselves and more often than not, we end up hurting because of that.

We feel each emotion deeper and stronger than the average person not because we are overemotional, but because we feel we have connected with someone so strongly that our happiness explodes brighter and our sorrow sinks deeper through the ups and downs of life. All of our emotions stem from interactions with other people, either lack of or an overabundance of it, we feel because of how others interact around us.

We love deep friendships.To get to know someone and find out every single thing about them is to feel like you have truly understood another complex being. When we recognize those who give to us, we give back. Sometimes, we give back so much that others stop giving all together until the work load sits on our shoulders and slowly weighs us down.

We want to belong.

We want to belong.

But see, people who are too attached to others can’t feel that weight when they are focused on someone they love. They don’t care the pounds they carry as long as they are doing everything possible to cultivate and help a relationship with another friend. We love genuineness and feeling like we have purpose or belong somewhere.

This is why we are told we care too much. We’re too nice. Someone can stab you in the back, crush your heart, exploit your secrets and a piece of you will always want to help them and be there for them. No matter how badly your broken and bleeding. It’s hard for us to step back and recognize when we need to protect ourselves.

It’s taken advantage of far too much. 

We can stand up for ourselves unless its to the people we love. We can be the toughest, strongest person you know but if we love you- it’s hard for us to not become putty in warm hands.

So please, for me, understand how you should be treating a person who feels so deeply and gives so much to others. 

Be patient in understanding that sometimes those emotions we have can grip our hearts without reason. Choose to be present and just listen to what they have to say. Sometimes we just need to explode even if it’s nonsense we won’t care about in ten minutes.

Be gentle. We can be overwhelming at times by how much we feel and how deeply we connect with others but that doesn’t mean you have to match it. It just means you have to try and understand that.We love and interact with friends in different ways. Believe me, we’re an understanding bunch.

Give back. This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be going overboard. Just remember that love given to someone should not be taken for granted. Every day you should think of how you appreciate another person and why you want them in your life. If you can’t come up with any reasons… what are you doing?

We find the other good eggs out there eventually.

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

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Herman the Hippo

Herman the Hippo is a famous figure in my life because of the love my boyfriend has for hippos. When I first met this goofball, he changed my computer background to the picture below, claiming it showed the cuteness hippos contained.

On the other hand, I thought this creature looked like a slimy blob of flubber. Zach named him Nigel and he stayed on my computer for a long time, reminding me of the guy I was falling for.

After this, I learned that a young Zach had told his brothers that he hid a hippo in his closet and fed him chocolate chip cookies. This is when I started gaining a soft spot for the animal. I took a second look at poor Nigel and realized his legs were so short and stumpy and he had such a big nose. He was starting to look a little cuter.

For Valentine’s Day, I bought Zach a giant stuffed hippo who he named Herman. We cuddled, schmoozed and loved him while beginning to document the memories with pictures. Here is a taste below…

After the ridiculous amount of pictures we began taking, I became as obsessed with Herman the Hippo and hippos themselves. How can you not love the huge nose and heart tattoo on his foot?

Over a year later, he’s lost a little fluff but still continues to be the ridiculous cuddle pillow that I stole from Zach to sleep with every night. Literally, every night. I sprawl over this stuffed hippo and don’t let go until I wake up in the morning. It’s my first time ever having a stuffed animal that I sleep with every night. I feel like a five year old and I am not ashamed.

I have had a lot catch up with me this past week and have felt a lot of pressure from every aspect of my life. I don’t know if you have ever been stressed out to the max but hugging the crap out of a hippo tends to make your heart a little more fluffy and the world a little bit kinder. So as I write this, I am holding on tight to this little ball of love and hoping to just make it to the weekend without exploding into a mess.

Herman the Hippo is a wonderful stuffed friend to have around and the point of this post is to give you a tip on how to make yourself feel better after a long day/week. Buy a huge stuffed hippo, name it something adorable and hug the crap out of it.

Until next time,

Anna Marie ❤

Stressed Out? You’re Not Alone

They say that if you do something one thousand times, you’re an expert at it. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an expert at becoming stressed. I’ve been feeling a little bit a pressure lately and knew that writing about stress might, in fact, help me cure it.

If you’re like me, you have the super power of knowing when you are stressed out. Therefore, you probably have recognized that when you’re stuck there, it just takes time to unravel your knot of to-do’s swimming in your brain.

Not to fear, I’ve been there.

As a self-proclaimed adult, my life can get way too cluttered with feeble attempts to build a nice life resume. I started becoming way too obsessed with what I needed to do rather than what I wanted to do to make my time spent on earth worthwhile. I knew what would make me a good candidate for jobs after I graduated and I got lost in that mindset.

The first step to becoming a less stressed person is knowing what situations make you stressed out. I figured out that my tendency to bite off too much is the main reason why I have been a little overwhelmed on and off the past few years.

This can truly be the hardest part. Sometimes, it’s hard to not blame your stress on something that’s right in front of you or that just happened. For example, when I was feeling a lot of pressure yesterday it was because I thought I had a ton errands to catch up on when in reality I did a really good job of getting everything I needed done. After sitting down and taking a big ole loud breath, I realized that I was more stressed out because I haven’t had much time to hang out with my friends. This made me a little lonely and crabby and therefore I got stressed out because of it.

The reason your stressed can sometimes be hidden beneath all of the little things you think are making you upset. Once you do figure out the core of the stress, it’s time to breathe.

Step two is to know what makes you feel better when you are stressed out. Do you like to be alone and think it through? Maybe distracting yourself with music or TV works best? Perhaps you are like me and want to talk about it with someone and then move on to a nice distraction.

Do you know what makes you feel relaxed? Good, now do that. If you can’t or don’t have time, take a few breaths and plan out the next chance you will have to do what makes you feel better.

The worst part about being stressed out is not knowing what it is at the time and not knowing how to counteract it. But once you figure those two crucial things out, you will know how you work better and how to help yourself in the best way.

Let’s hope this post gave a little more comfort than stressing you out even more.

Breathe in, breathe out and conquer the world. 

Until next week!

Anna Marie