The Constant Battle Between Your Heart and Your Head

Hush, I tell my heart, you don’t always know what’s best for you. 

Quiet, my heart challenges, you’re overthinking this. 

It’s like I can feel these two separate entities inside of me whenever a crucial decision arises.

For instance, when you get a funny feeling about someone or being somewhere.

Our head often sees what’s happening far before our hearts ever sense we might be in danger. When we finally realize our thoughts are not just paranoia we cautiously whisper our fears to our beating chests. With every beat, our hearts reassure us that people are good, incapable of causing pain and besides, can’t you just enjoy happiness for once?

They say we’re ignoring our gut instinct but in reality, we just have too much hope. We are too excited for things to go as we dream and push away the nagging discouragements our brain is spewing in the background. We just want our heart to find happiness because we know how much it deserves to. 

If you’ve ever been stuck, it’s hard to choose between what you think is right and what you feel is right. I wish I could help you understand which is better but the truth is there is never going to be one that conquers all.

There is this battle that happens within us and that’s when we know the decision we are making is life-changing. When your heart and your head clash so ferociously you can’t sleep, that’s when you know you’ve come to a fork that has two separate futures.

And if you follow your heart? I can promise you that you will feel good. I can’t promise for how long, but whenever you choose your heart you always feel good for at least a little while.

Is it smart to choose your heart and surrender your brain? It depends really.

Is it smart to choose your brain and ignore those feelings you have? I just don’t know.

But if you follow your brain? You can talk yourself into reason and sometimes that means talking your heart into reason as well. You can calm the terror you may feel in your chest by explaining why something needs to change.

In our hearts, we can almost always know if something is a good idea if it just feels right. 

Often, we can also argue our minds to the point where we convince ourselves that it is right. 

So in the end, we never know if we made the “right” decision or chose the right organ to follow. We just move forward because we realize that is what we decided to do. We continue on living and will not know if that organ was the more reasonable one until one of them start questioning every choice you’ve ever made again.

When that time comes, maybe wave a white flag and find a way to follow both. 😉

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

New Song: Bonfire Heart

It’s a lyrical Thursday. So, I will introduce you to this song and leave the lyrics here for you. At first, I thought it was catchy and now I have it on repeat constantly. I love it. I love the chorus.

Bonfire Heart – James Blunt (you know… the guy who wrote “You’re Beautiful” and then kind of disappeared)

Watch Music Video Here!

The video is alright. The song itself is best.

LYRICS!

“Bonfire Heart”

Your mouth is a revolver
Firing bullets in the sky
Your love is like a soldier,
Loyal ’til you die
And I’ve been looking at the stars
For a long, long time
I’ve been putting out fires
All my life

Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
And today is our turn

Days like these lead to…
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

This world is getting colder.
Strangers passing by
No one offers you a shoulder.
No one looks you in the eye.
But I’ve been looking at you
For a long, long time
Just trying to break through,
Trying to make you mine

Everybody wants a flame,
They don’t want to get burnt
Well, today is our turn

Days like these lead to…
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

Our bonfire hearts
Our bonfire hearts
Our bonfire hearts
You light the spark

People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

Days like these lead to…
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

(Our bonfire hearts)

(Days like these lead to…
Nights like this lead to
Love like ours.
You light the spark in my bonfire heart.*)
People like us—we don’t
Need that much, just some-
One that starts,
Starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

[* – not sung in the official video]

THANKS AZLYRICS!
Enjoy this new song I stumbled upon. 🙂
Anna Marie

Rain

Today’s post isn’t very inspiring but it’s real. Sometimes the inspiration is looking up into the eye of the storm and raising your middle finger to the sky because you know you are going to make it through the thunder and lightning.

So here it goes.

The sky is crying. Sunshine is taking a break and the clouds are protecting the sun from having to be so bright and happy today. I want nothing more than to stand in the rain and let it wash away the thoughts, doubt and any pain I have been through.

The rain drops can hit my skin and take the poison from my mind and I’ll feel them roll down my face until they fall from me and sink into the ground.

I’ll let my mood fall into alignment with the clouds for today. I’ll pretend they are protecting me like they are protecting the sun from having to always be shining. I can be a little bit dull today, I deserve a day like that.

A smile will cross my face because I know how deeply I feel and how strong a person has to be in order to brave the emotions that come with a giving heart.  I will laugh in the rain because I will feel the self-doubt drip down my sides and recognize the worth I have in myself.

I might cry in the rain to let myself know that I am not going to numb what I have experienced in my life.

I know that every step forward is progress that has taken work. Even if you feel like you have fallen miles behind.

I know that love is surrounding me. Love is all I need.

My mind just gets in the way sometimes.

I’ll make it out of this little hell.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Ocean Waves Stole my Heart

When I first galloped into the ocean, the salt splashed in my mouth and I came up spitting and wiping at the salt I felt sticking to my body.  But the first time I saw the ocean, I couldn’t stop searching the horizon or watching the waves crash on shore. The vastness of the ocean is incredible. The sheer size of it is mind boggling. I remember dipping my toes into it and feeling so small. Like compared to this giant home to thousands of creatures, my tiny self was just a fraction of the life touching the waves, the smallest part of the most grand piece of this world.

Now, not all of these words came to mind, but it gives you a sense of how that first encounter with the sea went. That was in 2012.

2014. Florida.

2014. Florida.

In 2013, I was lucky enough to go back to the ocean and it felt, in the strangest way, like I belonged there. Like I was meant to have this vast mystery somewhere close to me. Now, I am not usually super philosophical or categorized as a hippie but I swear the ocean knew it had a gravitational pull on me. I can’t even explain how my thoughts just started melding into ideas and my mind cleared from the rubbish that usually poisons healthy thinking. It was like as soon as the waves touched my skin, a calm would sink into me that allowed all of the thoughts to be processed or hushed. What does this place have that others do not?

I found myself back by the ocean during spring break in Florida in 2014.  As soon as I saw the sea, I got the same building excitement  as I walked towards the shore. On a quiet beach with a pier and sea shell treasures, I didn’t want to leave. The moment in which the waves first crashed over my toes, my mind felt at home again. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this is where I would be at my best, mentally. With the ocean for clarity and the waves for cleansing. I did my best thinking there and I felt renewed whenever I would leave the sand. I always waited for my next chance to go back.

2015. Thailand.

2015. Thailand.

This year, 2015, I had the opportunity to experience the Indian Ocean in Thailand. It was incredibly clear and the most brilliant shade of turquoise you could imagine. When you jumped in, you could see a whole different world beneath your toes. I went snorkeling by different islands and witnessed ocean life untouched. I saw Nemos, Doris, sea urchins, rainbow fish, sea cucumbers that were the most royal shade of blue imaginable and so much more.

Ironically,  days before I witnessed the beauty of the Indian Ocean, I witnessed the devastation of the ruins it left behind when a tsunami hit Thailand years ago. So don’t get me wrong, I think the ocean is beautiful but it’s power scares me. It was so difficult to imagine something so beautiful turning into a deathly disaster. It was terrifying.

The ocean is strong. It is powerful and unpredictable. It can tear apart a country or be the natural force behind championships. It can be the subject of a perfect sunset or the sound of a night time lullaby. You see, the ocean can be all of these things and perhaps the potential hidden beneath the surface is the reason I love to be in it’s presence. It’s quiet and it will always be there. The ocean is a place of serenity and where my thoughts will come together. I can’t imagine a better place for solace and I will always look forward to the next time I can dip my toes into the waves again.

Until next time,

Anna Marie