I Hope You Stay You.

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I hope, at the end of the day, you’re you.

I hope that the fire in your soul fuels your bravery and the criticism of society burns in the flames.

I hope you love so freely that it scares people away and attracts the deepest friendships of your life.

I hope you spike your hot cocoa to stay warm and breathe in the crisp winter air because the contrast is sacred.

I hope you fall in love so bad it hurts and he only stays if he let’s you be exactly who you are.

I hope you always stay exactly who you are.

Never a dimmed light-

never a watered down version-

always, 100% you.

I hope you eat french fries and skip the salad once in a while.

I hope you call yourself beautiful.

I hope you look in the mirror and accept yourself for your own beauty ideal.

I hope you talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend.

I hope you practice kindness and stay genuine.

I hope you aren’t afraid to feel sadness and learn how to carry it with you.

I hope that you inspire yourself to be brave and believe in yourself to be fearless.

I hope you know that you can do anything.

Whatever you want, just do it.

I hope that you care for others in a way that makes them love you to the ends of the earth and fight like hell for what you believe in.

I hope your beliefs are never shoved down the throats of others.

I hope you listen to the silence for all that it says.

I hope you listen just to listen and not to respond.

I hope that you are missed by the ones you love and miss those you adore.

I hope you remember to smile.

I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself.

I hope that someone finds that light of yours and let’s it shine as bright as ever before.

I hope no one tries to take away your spirit.

I hope you never let them.

I hope you never apologize for what isn’t in your control.

I hope that you share yourself if only so you feel more confident in who you are.

I hope you never change.

I will always hope, at the end of the day, that you are you.

Stay you.

Love,

Anna Marie ❤

A Mess of Words Smashed Together To Describe Who I Am

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I’m a whirlwind of adaptation and determination. My mind clocks 100 mph thoughts while my legs struggle to run 1/10th of that pace. Sleep doesn’t stand a chance against the intensity of my creativity and I toss and turn with dreams of blank faces I have yet to meet.

I easily lose sight of myself in others. My broken dreams spring hopeful prayers and my heart is not one to pass the chance of wishing on a shooting star.

My eyes can be useless to the intensity of my focus.

My brain is considered smart while my decisions can reflect the opposite. Oh, but I learn with grace and passion what it is to turn a mistake into a lesson.

My heart swells easily and beats love. I fall quickly and shamelessly into a whirlwind of laughter and trust. My excitement explodes freely and the love I give is raw and untouchable.

My laugh cracks like sticks turning to coals in a fire while my smile comes and goes in waves. Happiness finds me again and again, teaching me the patience I need to embrace the in-between.

My strength shines through cracks and scars that have been healed by a process of learning self-love.

The aches I feel are from years ago but the person I’ve become thanks the pain for teaching me how to move forward. I have learned the value in letting yourself be broken if only to put yourself back together with stronger glue.

I’ve thrown myself into projects and people that didn’t deserve the effort and I’ve mistreated the ones that did. Perfection is unattainable but it was once a goal before I realized the insanity of it. 

I’ve cared far too deeply or not enough. My inspiration is crazed by photography that speaks words that don’t exist and quotes that tear my soul open and leave me with nothing but a mirror and a magnifying glass.

I’ve become a beautiful monster who creates and cultivates. I’ve become a piece of art that was painted by my own thoughts and experiences.

I am proud of my own creation. Me.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

This Is How I’m Going To Love You

I’m not going to notice you and look over my shoulder seventeen times just so you know I’m interested. I’m not going to accidentally bump into your shoulder to have an excuse to ask you to have a conversation. I won’t play the eye contact game or giggle politely. I don’t like games because to me, love will never be a game.

I am going to get lost in my work and thoughts because the truth is, I’m not looking for you and I don’t want you to be looking for me. I want to meet and start talking not to get another date, but to get to know you immediately. Right then and there. I don’t want to pretend that I may or may not be interested in you because the truth is I am genuinely interested in every person I have ever met until I have reason not to be.

I will text you when I want to, not when Cosmo tells me I should. I will ask you to hang out whenever I want to see you, not after however many days society says I should to keep your attention. I will not work for your attention. I want you to give it to me willingly because what you see in me. 

I’ll probably text you too much and share too many personal stories much too fast because I don’t waste my time sharing myself with someone. I give too much, feel to deeply and crave to cultivate relationships. I will never feel overwhelming or like I have to think of every word coming out of my mouth. I’ll ask you questions that you’ve answered a million times and questions that you never knew you’d be asked. With you, I’ll feel safe.

I’ll laugh way too hard at something you weren’t even trying to make funny and cry too hard during sad movies. I’m going to go way too fast and far too slow with you. I’m not going to wait until the third date to kiss you and I’m going to hope you hold my hand because it feels right, not because it’s appropriate timing.

I’ll be terrified of falling in love and excited to call you mine. I’ll surprise you with endless small things and expect nothing less than love and support. I’ll say those three words only when I know they are absolutely true and will show you every day how much I mean them. 

I’ll be worried and overthink because I can’t help but stress myself out. I will say the wrong thing or make a mistake at some point because I’m human. I will apologize and forgive because two people can always work through problems if they try hard enough. 

I will fight hard and love you even harder. I will take time to myself and need to be alone. I will kiss your shoulder goodnight and never feel like I can’t be my complete self around you. I will never speak to hurt you and always remind myself of how lucky I am to be yours.

I will always respect you and never disrespect myself in the process. You and I will be best friends in love and the fire we have my change in flame but will never die out. I will never feel like I am too much or not enough. Neither will you.

I will love you fiercely and proudly because I don’t know how to love any other way. That is how I am going to love you and if you don’t want this, you don’t want me.

But to someone, it is going to be everything and more. I’m not waiting for you, but I can’t wait until the day we meet.

Yours,

Anna Marie

PS: inspired by this lovely post HERE

Dance With Me

As a three year old girl, my mom said I couldn’t stop moving my little butt so naturally, she put me in dance class and my whole world changed.

I was in ballet, jazz and tap and absolutely loved every second of it. As an 11 year old, I started helping my teacher teach 3 year olds how to dance and started making up routines at home. After I got my 10 year award at my studio, I graduated out of the program and joined my high school’s dance team which sucked miserably and dissolved after my sophomore year.

I didn’t realize how much I missed dance until my freshman year in college when I was able to take a class as a general education requirement. I joined into some zumba classes as well and realized that dancing was such a good release from stressful days.

Even though dance wasn’t as big in my life anymore, I still loved watching it. I became a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance and movies like Center Stage and Step Up. There was just something about the movements and details that made dance so beautiful. To show you a little of what I love to watch, I included a video of Chloe Lukasiak (recognizable from Dance Moms) doing a beautiful routine. Watch it and I guarantee you you will understand why I love dance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b6otMEdsYQ

Somehow, dance is very unrecognized when it comes to all of the other activities and sports kids can join. What people don’t realize is how tough dance is. You are completely supporting your own weight and controlling your limbs to move in precise angles and shapes. Sound easy? Even when you think you have a move down, you might still look ridiculous because the technique great dancers have is absolutely incredible.

I have always been a huge admirer of dancers and wish that I would have stuck with it when I was younger. I will see videos cross my news feed from time to time and be in complete awe of what some of these dancers can do with their bodies.

STOP: Hammer time…

The best part about dancing is that you don’t have to be good at it to have fun. You can look absolutely ridiculous and still be put in a better mood. Not to mention dancing gives you a work out! Zumba anyone? What I’m saying is that even though I can’t do all of the special things I used to do when I was younger, I can still do that side step bobbing thing you see at high school proms that make you feel good. That’s all I need.

So dance it up from time to time. From dance parties with your roommate to weird dancing when you’re home alone, own it and do it because you know it will make you a little happier. At least, it’s something to this day- watching or doing- that makes me happy.

Enjoy your weekends and dance this Valentine’s Day away!

Until Monday,

Anna Marie ❤