The Constant Battle Between Your Heart and Your Head

Hush, I tell my heart, you don’t always know what’s best for you. 

Quiet, my heart challenges, you’re overthinking this. 

It’s like I can feel these two separate entities inside of me whenever a crucial decision arises.

For instance, when you get a funny feeling about someone or being somewhere.

Our head often sees what’s happening far before our hearts ever sense we might be in danger. When we finally realize our thoughts are not just paranoia we cautiously whisper our fears to our beating chests. With every beat, our hearts reassure us that people are good, incapable of causing pain and besides, can’t you just enjoy happiness for once?

They say we’re ignoring our gut instinct but in reality, we just have too much hope. We are too excited for things to go as we dream and push away the nagging discouragements our brain is spewing in the background. We just want our heart to find happiness because we know how much it deserves to. 

If you’ve ever been stuck, it’s hard to choose between what you think is right and what you feel is right. I wish I could help you understand which is better but the truth is there is never going to be one that conquers all.

There is this battle that happens within us and that’s when we know the decision we are making is life-changing. When your heart and your head clash so ferociously you can’t sleep, that’s when you know you’ve come to a fork that has two separate futures.

And if you follow your heart? I can promise you that you will feel good. I can’t promise for how long, but whenever you choose your heart you always feel good for at least a little while.

Is it smart to choose your heart and surrender your brain? It depends really.

Is it smart to choose your brain and ignore those feelings you have? I just don’t know.

But if you follow your brain? You can talk yourself into reason and sometimes that means talking your heart into reason as well. You can calm the terror you may feel in your chest by explaining why something needs to change.

In our hearts, we can almost always know if something is a good idea if it just feels right. 

Often, we can also argue our minds to the point where we convince ourselves that it is right. 

So in the end, we never know if we made the “right” decision or chose the right organ to follow. We just move forward because we realize that is what we decided to do. We continue on living and will not know if that organ was the more reasonable one until one of them start questioning every choice you’ve ever made again.

When that time comes, maybe wave a white flag and find a way to follow both. 😉

Until Next Time,

Anna Marie

How To Be Your Own Hero

“I’ll lay my hands on the glass to see through the mess I’ve become. I’ll gaze beyond the cage I feel safe in to try and see the world outside again. But daydreaming isn’t always as comparable to dreams. But I’ll stare out of this glass pane anyways.

While wishing out a window I remembered what was mine. I remembered a time I felt whole. Wishing out a window was as easy as it seems, our hearts were filled with dreams, one memory at a time. Now I’ll keep wishing for the day when all the pain I feel goes away or I find the strength to believe in all I need. I’ll keep praying for a sign on stars that refuse to shine to help me understand that the only hero to my tragedy is me. The hero to my tragedy is me.”  

Sometimes, it’s hard not to rest your fate in the hands of a miracle. It’s hard not to sit around and wait for yourself to get better. It’s hard not to wait for someone to put you back together so you don’t have to. It’s hard to trust yourself to become saved by the one and only you.

It would be so much easier to just let ourselves be defeated and stay down but what happens when a year goes by and no one has saved you? No miracles have happened and time hasn’t changed anything at all? You have to choose to pick yourself up. You’re the hero in this story my friend.

Here’s a few things you can start doing to get yourself where you want to be.

1. Push yourself to do something even if you don’t feel like it. 

You don’t have to go somewhere every day but binge watching Netflix for three days straight is not a good way to work on your happiness. At least break it up with a walk or go meet a friend for coffee. Most of the time, you’ll feel better afterwards. Make your day have purpose. Make yourself feel like you need to be somewhere or doing something to be happy.

2. Reach out to friends or make some new ones. 

A way to get yourself through anything is to surround yourself with people who will catch you if you stumble. Take this time to grow friendships and reconnect with old ones. Go see your family and recognize those who truly care for you. Laugh and love.

3. Make yourself think of two positive thoughts for every negative thought you have. 

Write it down if you have to! Every time you start thinking about regrets, guilt, events leading to those feelings, stop yourself (if the time is right). You need time to heal of course but at some point you have to tell your mind to move on and think about it less and less. We must learn to push forward with pain. It’ll get easier.

4. Every morning, wake up and ask yourself what you want to do to make yourself happy. 

This sounds so silly but we often forget to think about the small things that will give us joy. Is it making yourself a big breakfast? Is it going for a walk? Sometimes these things don’t sound too fun but we know that after we do them we’ll feel a little more productive and joyous for the rest of your day. Do it even if you don’t feel like it. Make yourself happy.

5. Love yourself. Do something for yourself.

I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but I can’t stress enough how important this time is for you to do something that’s going to make you feel new and happy. Redecorate your apartment, buy yourself a new toy, get in the best shape of your life, join a new club, take archery lessons… whatever it is, just go for it. Do something, or several things, for yourself and consider it the beginning of a relationship with YOU. Date yourself and start by spoiling the crap out of you.

We can’t chase happiness, but we can learn habits that will help us stumble into it much easier.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Your College Bucket-List From a Soon to be Senior

It’s true when they tell you college is the time of your life. You are thrown out of the nest and start to grow your own wings. You experience the stress of finals at 4 am and the doubt of being able to graduate in four years. College is the best experience and do you know what else is true? It flies by way too fast.

Coming from a soon to be college senior, there are so many things I did throughout the past few years at my university that I hope and pray freshman will do as well. So here are ten things I couldn’t have left college without doing.

THE COLLEGE BUCKET LIST

1. Meet people every year and don’t stop making new friends. College is a lot bigger than your high school and your friends will come and go, just make sure you hold on to the good ones. Be open to people you haven’t talked to before.

2015. February.

2015. February.

2. Go to a sporting event that you know has the loudest pride fan section. At my school, it’s hockey. The cheering section for every other sport sucks but when it comes to chanting for our hockey team, we go wild. There are chants, taunts and horrible sportsmanship but it is one of the most fun ways to spend a weekend night. 

3. Join a club, even if you only go to one meeting. Joining a student org not only gives you the opportunity to meet new friends, it also gives you opportunities to volunteer, become an intern or at the very least some free food (sometimes). Even if you don’t stick with it, it’s good to have at least tried something out.

4. Join an intramural, if only for a semester. I don’t care how bad you suck at sports, intramurals are such a good time. You can play in the fun league and meet so many nice people and make lots of great memories.

5. Try to get at least 3 teachers to remember your name by the end of your college career. This isn’t as easy as you would think, especially as an underclassman taking general education courses. Going into the last few semesters made me realize that a letter of recommendation from a professor would look really good on a job application so sit in the front of the class for once and talk a little.

2012.

2012.

6. Live in the dorms… and then live off campus. Living in the dorms are so much fun. You get to know your community and get offered tons of free programs. There is never nothing to do in a dorm. Living off campus provides you with learning opportunities and a place to call your own. You learn a lot.

7. Travel. Either study abroad or traveling on your own, now is the time to go if you can afford to. Even if it’s just for spring break, take advantage of the free time you have while you are in college. Once you graduate and start your career, your traveling is going to be much more limited.

Cancun. 2013.

Cancun. 2013.

8. Take advantage of anything that’s FREE! You get so many college perks it’s ridiculous. Free concerts, movies, comedians, fitness classes,craft-nights, etc. Our campus even gives you free condoms so find out what’s free and take advantage of that!

9. Say yes more than you say no. One of the greatest ways to make memories is to say yes when people ask you to do things. Walk through a park, coffee at a cozy shop, study date at McDonald’s, whatever it is, do it. You will not regret the quirky memories that come from those nights.

10. Take a class for fun. This sounds so ridiculous to take a class for fun but trust me, since you have general courses you are required to take, it will be easy. You have options in so many different broad areas so pick something you need to graduate that you know will give you a good time.

One of the most important things to remember about college is why you are there. Don’t get lost in the atmosphere all the time because you do want to graduate with a degree. You are in college to learn, grow and prepare yourself for your future career in the real world. Bask in that.

Until tomorrow,

Anna Marie

Workout So You Can Take Impressive Pictures

That sounds strange doesn’t it? But let’s face it. Not many people actually like the idea of working out for more than a month. The people that do are athletes or stay within their comfort zone most of the time. It’s a time consuming, pain filled process and who loves pushing your body until you want to keel over? Not many of us, so here is a new approach.

I have just started working out again. I used to count my walks to work and took the stairs as a good form of cardio but I began to realized I missed feeling stronger. Here’s what I did to get back into it and yes, pictures are involved.

1. I grabbed a buddy who wanted the same goals. You hear this all over the internet because it’s true. Your workouts will be much more consistent if you push each other to be better and to be accountable. Having someone that you don’t mind correcting you and telling you to work harder will be a great tool in the workouts you choose. Besides, you are more likely to stand up yourself than a friend, right? So find someone you can workout with and make a schedule.

2. Decide what kind of workouts you want to do. I have had this workout buddy for 3 years and this past year we kind of lost our way. We didn’t workout together anymore and then we both stopped working out all together. Recently, we decided this wasn’t okay. We used to run together and do minimal abs and on and off body weight exercises but we weren’t as fond of that anymore. We both realized we wanted to get toned with a different kind of cardio that gave us a lot of body control, balance, and flexibility. So, we chose dance.

You probably think we’re crazy. Two 20-something year olds want to learn to dance now? Well, we both have had background training and knew that with time, we would be able to get better. We’re not going for So You Think You Can Dance, we just want to tone up in a different way that can be truly beautiful.

3. Set Goals. If you’re running, do you want to be able to run 5 miles non-stop in 3 months? If you’re lifting weights, do you want to bench ten pounds more in 50 days? With our new workout in mind, our goal is to become more flexible. One thing in specific is we want to be able to do the splits by the end of our spring semester. Setting a goal gives you something to work for and keeps pushing you.

4. Document your journey. This is where I’m getting into the pictures part. This is new for my friend and I, but we decided that we wanted to take progress pictures to see how far we’ve come and push ourselves even farther. When I say progress pictures, I don’t mean the whole sports bra thing.

I said my goal was the splits? So every week, we take a picture of each other trying to do the splits and see how much farther we get. We have done this for a few different flexibility poses and I can’t wait to see our progress. Our goal is to become strong and capable of taking beautiful Pinterest worthy pictures. To inspire you, is a beautiful example.

Courtesy of Pinterest.

Courtesy of Pinterest.

5. Patience. Especially for our goal, we have to be patient. Being able to control your body or do what these girls are doing in the picture is going to take more than a semester. That’s the fun part about it. We get to see how far we can push our bodies because we are still young and willing to learn.

I hope these tips have inspired a new fire inside to get that booty up and moving. If you have any other amazing tips that work well for you or styles of exercise you love, comment below! I love to hear what makes people successful.

Until Tomorrow,

Anna Marie